“The 2012 Wish List” [Black List parody]

December 10th, 2012 by

Yes, it’s that time of year when all the script lists inspired by the Black List come out including this annual send up from comedy writer Ken Furer: The Wish List. Here’s what Ken says about it:

The Wish List is a compilation of the best unproduced, unwritten screenplays in Hollywood.  The third annual list is determined based on a comprehensive voting process involving a tribunal of studio development executives, the BCS computer ranking algorithm, Cee Lo Green, and the State of Florida.

Please remember, The Wish List is not a “best of” list.  It is, at best, a “waste of the next few minutes of your life.”

A few excerpts from this year’s Wish List:

CRAIG-POCALYPSE

When an asteroid, tsunami, and zombie uprising converge on the Mayan Apocalypse, three slackers must band together to save the world while trying to get their friend laid. 

UNTITLED UNPRODUCEABLE VOICE PIECE

An aspiring writer in a hip urban setting deals with the perils of life, love, and his own perceived genius.  Based on the writer’s real life experiences in a hip urban setting dealing with the perils of life, love, and his own perceived genius.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt attached.

STRUCTURAL FLAW

The true story of American structural engineer Eugene Figg who tackles personal demons while struggling to redefine segmental concrete construction.  Based on a Wikipedia search.

BIOPIC STYLE

An unconventional biopic following Korean pop sensation PSY’s early years as he finds his inspiration for ‘Gangnam Style’ while riding horses, working in a snow machine factory, and lurking at playgrounds – as told by that weird guy in the yellow suit.

BABY MONITOR

A found footage horror in which a new mother discovers terrifying footage on her baby monitor of her infant crying and not going to sleep.

A BIRD IN THE HAND

Based on ’50 Shades of Grey’ fan fiction, a women’s book group hires a male stripper to read mommy porn while listening to their problems and giving them all foot massages.  Channing Tatum attached to play Derek Hand.

For more, go here.

To read my post on the 2011 Wish List with a link to the 2010 list, go here.

Of course, all this activity must mean the real Black List is about to drop in the next week or so…

3 thoughts on ““The 2012 Wish List” [Black List parody]

  1. Dhoh! Wish I’d thought of these!

    CRAIG-POCALYPSE – Is genius!

    Great work, Ken!

  2. Okay. Seriously. Just like hundreds, if not thousands of other screenwriters, I did consider fleshing out an outline for a feature that included these key words: Mayan, asteroid, aliens, WMDs, zombies, and solar-flares. An apocalyptic ensemble of epic proportions. It didn’t involve getting laid, but hell, why not. Micro the macro. Brilliant! And tempting. Is it too late?

    1. Scott says:

      If you write the hell out of it, why not?

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