Daily Dialogue — January 7, 2016

FLETCH: Aha! I got one. See that? These little buggers are the piranhas of the insect world. The only thing they like better than wood is human flesh.
COP: Really?
FLETCH: You bet.
COP: Well, if you can’t see it, how do you know you got one?
FLETCH: Well, I’m glad I asked that question. They make this horrible, high-pitched noise. It’s kind of like a tiny little scream. Can you hear that?

The cop shakes his head no.

FLETCH: Can you hear that? Like a tiny little piglet? No? Let me see … Uh-oh. I seem to have dropped it in your ear.
COP: You what?
FLETCH: It’s alright. Better get that, can’t let that nest in there. They multiply by masturbation. The only way to get that out is to get as close to the floor as you can. Go on down to the floor, that’s right. They’re drawn to the floorboards. Now, shake your head like you’re trying to get the water out of your ear. That’s good. Hit it, no, harder. [Fletch hits him in the head.] No, this side. It’s on this side, that’s right. Now make that scream, that high-pitched scream. That’ll draw ’em out.

The cop begins squealing like a pig.

FLETCH: Uh-huh, squeal like a pig, a little higher. Hey, I found a queen! I found a queen, I don’t believe it. No one’s ever found a queen. I gotta get this to the lab and get a stool sample.

— Fletch Lives (1989), screenplay by Leon Capetanos, character by Gregory McDonald

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Formulating a Plan, suggested by Lior Shemesh. Today’s suggestion by Melinda.

Trivia: Fletch’s complete list of disguises and aliases is: Peggy-Lee Zorba, Nostradamus, The Colonel, Billy-Jean King, Claude-Henry Smoot, Peter Lemonjello, Ed Harley, Elmer-Fudd Gantry, Henry Himmler, Victor Hugo, and Bobby-Lee Schwartz II.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Melinda: “Here, Fletch gets busted poking around a crime scene and quickly has to formulate an (escape) plan. I’ve always appreciated the over-the-top situations in this film — they’ve inventive, not run of the mill.”