A Story Idea Each Day for a Month — Day 23

This is the third year in a row I’ve run this series in April. Today’s story: Man Fakes Mom’s Obit To Get Time Off:

BROOKVILLE, Pa. — Authorities in northwestern Pennsylvania say a man published an obituary for his living mother in a ploy to get paid bereavement time off from work.

Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville after the obit appeared to report the woman was actually alive and well. The woman herself then visited the paper.

Brookville police charged 45-year-old Scott Bennett on Tuesday with disorderly conduct.

Democrat editor Randy Bartley says he accepted the obituary in good faith after being unable to confirm the funeral arrangements at press time. He told The Derrick newspaper on Friday that the woman was very understanding.

Police Chief Ken Dworek says Bennett wrote up the memorial notice because he didn’t want to get fired for taking time off.

It should be pretty apparent by now I like quirky characters. Like a guy who would report to the local newspaper his mother had died… so they would print an obituary… in order that he wouldn’t get fired for “taking time off.”

Now logic would dictate that this is actually a really dumb thing to do because with said mother still alive, the dude’s plan would eventually unravel.

But to me, that’s the beauty of it: His plan was so stupid, it comes across as quirky… at least to me.

What to do with this conceit? Because of the fact that once the mother appears, the dude’s story would unravel, I went in two different directions.

First dark comedy: In order to protect his lie, the dude sets out to kill his mother.

Second quirky comedy: What if this mother character was a real bitch? She lived in this small rural town. Or a tiny foreign village. It’s an idyllic place… except for this hard-assed, mean-spirited, trouble-causing, narcissist shrew. The townspeople meet. Someone suggests whacking her. But they’re too kindhearted to do that. So they come up with a plan: They are going to declare her to be dead.

Perhaps they it’s meant to be performance art. Maybe they just want to go through a catharsis and enjoy themselves, at least as a fantasy, of life without the town bitch.

But what if they treat this woman as a ghost, literally acting like she is dead?

Then what if over time, the woman herself comes to believe it, too?

She’s a living ‘ghost.’

But now she becomes completely transformed, going from nuisance to the sweetest little old thing for miles. And what if one of them goes to talk to her, and in so doing mentions a problem, then miraculously, the problem is resolved.

What if the villagers begin to see her as a saint? They line up to offer her to bless them. She thinks she is in Heaven and really is a saint, and she kindly dispenses blessings upon them.

Everyone could live with this except for one thing: If she’s dead, the woman figures she doesn’t need to eat. As a result, she is slowly starving to death.

Now what will the villagers do? They have to convince her she’s alive. But they can’t. So perhaps they have to ‘resurrect’ her.

This thing can just keep spinning on and on and on, yes?

What would you do with this story?

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