Best “worst” lines of movie dialogue
My favorite progressive political blog is DailyKos. Frankly, it was one of the few things that helped me keep my sanity after the 2004 presidential election. It’s a wide-open community of people there with an enormous variety of backgrounds. And occasionally, they’ll hit on a movie subject, such as this one today featuring actual film clips with bad dialogue like these:
“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.”
— — Nada, “They Live”
“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.”
— — Ash, “Army of Darkness”
Sheriff Freak: There’re sandwiches for tonight! It’ll go easier on you if you eat’em. Otherwise, we’ll be forced to kill you VIOLENTLY!
Drugstore Owner: It would be a shame! The blood would mix with the meat, and we’d have to leave it in vinegar for the whole night!
— — “Troll 2”
“Stronger. You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!”
— — Eros, “Plan 9 from Outer Space”
Ah, Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959), the ‘finest’ work in the Ed Woods opus. Eros’ line is bad, but I might have to go with this line:
“Now, don’t you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I’ll be locked up safely in there.”
— — Paula Trent
Or perhaps this one:
“I’ll bet my badge that we haven’t seen the last of those weirdies.”
— — Lieutenant John Harper
Or we could always go with this bizarre side of exposition:
“Take a can of your gasoline. Say this can of gasoline is the sun. Now, you spread a thin line of it to a ball, representing the earth. Now, the gasoline represents the sunlight, the sun particles. Here we saturate the ball with the gasoline, the sunlight. Then we put a flame to the ball. The flame will speedily travel around the earth, back along the line of gasoline to the can, or the sun itself. It will explode this source and spread to every place that gasoline, our sunlight, touches. Explode the sunlight here, gentlemen, you explode the universe. Explode the sunlight here and a chain reaction will occur direct to the sun itself and to all the planets that sunlight touches, to every planet in the universe. This is why you must be stopped. This is why any means must be used to stop you. In a friendly manner or as (it seems) you want it.”
— — Eros
What about you? What are your favorite lines of bad movie dialogue?
UPDATE: Entertainment Weekly weighs in with 15 Nominees for Worst Movie Dialogue Ever beginning with this one from Notting Hill (1999):
‘’I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.’’
— — Anna Scott (Julia Roberts)