Daily Dialogue — December 16, 2015
King Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men Sir Knight.
The Black Knight doesn’t respond.
King Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
No response.
King Arthur: I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
No response.
King Arthur: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
No response.
King Arthur: You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass!
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
They fight, Arthur cuts off Black Knight’s left arm.
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: ’Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
Black Knight: No, it isn’t!
King Arthur: Well, what’s that then?
Black Knight: I’ve had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
They fight again. Arthur cuts off the Knight’s right arm.
King Arthur: Victory is mine! [kneels to pray] We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy –
Cut off by the Knight kicking him.
Black Knight: Come on, then.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You’ve got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
Knight starts kicking Arthur.
King Arthur: Look, stop that.
Black Knight: Chicken… chicken.
King Arthur: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right!
Arthur cuts off the Knight’s right leg.
Black Knight: Right, I’ll do you for that!
King Arthur: You’ll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I’m invincible!
King Arthur: You’re a loony.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you. Come on then.
Arthur cuts off the left leg, the Knight is now immobile on the ground.
Black Knight: Alright, we’ll call it a draw.
King Arthur: Come Patsy.
Black Knight: Oh, oh I see…running away, eh? You yellow bastards, come back here and take what’s coming to you. I’ll bite your legs off.
— Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), written by Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Eric Idle & Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones & Michael Palin
The Daily Dialogue theme next week: Denial, suggested by Liz Correal. Today’s suggestion by James Schramm.
Trivia: The famous depiction of galloping horses by using coconut shells (a traditional radio-show sound effect) came about from the purely practical reason that the production simply couldn’t afford real horses.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by James: “This classic scene of denial taken to the nth degree as can only be done by Monty Python.”