Daily Dialogue — December 21, 2014

GIN: Well, let’s face the facts. Y’all are a couple of half-bucket small-timers. You, because of your physical attributes, found a niche, and I respect that. But you also been caught……by me. So this is how it’s gonna be. I don’t want to take over. I don’t even want to change your scam. Whatever you guys do, it works. All I want is a taste. When the deed is done, we part ways. I’ll buy a little ranch in Havasu, and you all take your little medicine show back on the road.
MARCUS: How much?
GIN: Half.
WILLIE: No way! You don’t know who you’re fucking with.
MARCUS: Back off, Will. I got this. I got this! Okay. Thirty percent. There’s three of us. Thirty percent. That’s fair.
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: I meant thirty three…
GIN: I meant half.
MARCUS: …and a third.
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: Thirty-five.
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: Forty.
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: Forty-two.
GIN: (mouths “half”)
MARCUS: Forty-five.
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: Forty-eight?
GIN: Half.
MARCUS: Forty-nine.
GIN: Half.
WILLIE: Well, what’s one point?
GIN: We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchandise you take, I get to look at and cherry-pick.
MARCUS: No! Money’s one thing, but you ain’t gettin’ the — 
GIN: This ain’t no Chinese menu, jagoff. I tell you how it’s gonna be. This is pricks fix.
WILLIE: “Pricks fix?”
MARCUS: Ah, he’s a fucking moron.
WILLIE: Oh, really? Is that how you got the upper hand?
MARCUS: Fuck you.
WILLIE: Negotiating?
MARCUS: If you don’t like, next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.
WILLIE: I can get another midget, too.
MARCUS: Yeah, where? You see us hanging off of trees like fucking crab apples? Even if we did, you’d never front your own racket. You know why, Willie? You got no discipline. You got zero fuckin’ initiative. You’d fall apart without me. You’re too pathetic for words. You’re a fucking loser, and you fucking know it.

— Bad Santa (2003), written by Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Negotiation. Today’s suggestion by JasperLamarCrab.

Trivia: Billy Bob Thornton admitted that he was genuinely intoxicated during the filming.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Jasper: This scene gets a ton of comic mileage just from repeating one word — “half.” In terms of negotiating, notice how Gin waits until Marcus is beaten down before springing the coup de grace, his demand for pick of the best merchandise.