Daily Dialogue — December 22, 2013 [Bonus]
INT. BREAKERS BAR. PORPOISE SPIT.
At a table, newly-wed TANIA with her three friends NICOLE, JANINE and CHERYL. Janine and Cheryl console Tania.
JANINE & CHERYL (O/S): What’s wrong? What’s the matter? Tell us. We won’t tell anyone.
Tania sobs. MURIEL arrives carrying an Orgasm cocktail and fanning herself against the heat.
MURIEL: Hello!
Tania’s friends give Muriel a dirty look for interrupting while Tania’s distressed. Muriel sits quietly.
JANINE: You’ve gotta let it out! Tell us what happened. We won’t tell anyone.
TANIA: He… (beat) He couldn’t do it. (beat) So I…
She mimes fellating Chook, her new husband.
TANIA: You know…
The friends nod. Tania stifles more sobs.
TANIA: And I noticed there was lipstick on it!
JANINE: On what?
TANIA (shrieks): His dick!
Muriel looks appalled. Tania’s friend NICOLE looks worried, guilty. We stay on them.
TANIA (O/S): He said he was having an affair.
JANINE (O/S): Who with?
Nicole shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
TANIA: Rose Biggs!
NICOLE (pissed off): Rose Biggs?
TANIA: Well, he said they don’t sleep together. She only sucks him off.
JANINE: Why?
TANIA (sobs): Out of respect for me!
JANINE: Bitch!
NICOLE (mutters): Bastard!
TANIA: What am I gonna do? I’m a bride! I’m supposed to be euphoric!
CHERYL: Come on holiday with us! Cash in your ticket to Bali and have your honeymoon with us!
JANINE: Yeah!
NICOLE: Yeah, come on, Tan!
TANIA: Alright!
Her three friends shriek and laugh in delight.
CHERYL: So excited!
MURIEL: What holiday?
Awkward silence.
CHERYL: Just Hibiscus Island.
JANINE: We didn’t think you could afford it because you don’t have a job.
MURIEL: Yes, I do. I got one last night. I’m a beauty consultant.
JANINE (whispers to Tania): Tell her. We were gonna tell her after the holiday but I think we should tell her now.
Another awkward silence.
NICOLE: Muriel…
CHERYL: Wait! (beat) Let her finish her orgasm.
Muriel sucks her whole drink noisily through the straw. The others cringe.
NICOLE: Muriel… People think we’re mad, but that’s just us. We’re ragers. People invite us to parties and they know we’ll just have a good time. We’re mad.
CHERYL: Party, party, party!
NICOLE: That’s our image. You know what I mean.
MURIEL: We’re mad!
NICOLE: We don’t want you hanging around us any more.
MURIEL (crestfallen): I didn’t steal the dress — it was a mistake!
NICOLE: It’s not the dress — it’s you! We’ve told you a thousand times how to do your hair, but you never listen.
CHERYL: You never wear the right clothes.
JANINE: You’re fat.
CHERYL: You listen to 70s music — this is the 90s. We listen to the Baby Animals…
JANINE: And Nirvana.
NICOLE: You bring us down, Muriel.
JANINE: You embarrass us.
MURIEL: I… I know I’m not normal, but I’m trying to change. I’m trying to become more like you. More of a…
JANINE: Too late!
MURIEL: I can change!
NICOLE: You’ll still be you.
A long, awkward silence. Muriel looks about to burst into tears.
TANIA: Muriel, you’ve got to find friends on your own level. Like I found Chook. He’s up on my level. (beat) Marrying him was the happiest day of my life…
Tania bursts into tears again. Muriel starts quietly weeping.
TANIA: I love him so much. The bastard! I’ll show him! I’ll go on this holiday and I’ll sleep with a thousand men!
MURIEL (quietly): I’m not nothing.
JANINE: Muriel, can’t you think of anyone but yourself? Tania’s upset!
MURIEL (loudly): I’m not nothing!
NICOLE: Well, nobody said that!
Muriel wails loudly, horrifying the others and stopping Tania crying in her tracks.
MURIEL: Don’t throw me out of the group!
NICOLE: Muriel, you’re embarrassing us again!
Muriel continues to wail.
— Muriel’s Wedding (1994), written by P.J. Hogan
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is awkward, suggested by Sabina Giado. Today’s bonus suggestion by Angela Neale.
Trivia: The writer/director P.J. Hogan wanted to use the music of ABBA in the film. At first, permission for the music to be used was denied. When the director promised to fly to Europe to plead his case to the founders of the band, permission was granted, as long as the band received a percentage of the film profits. The film turned out to be a big international hit, and thus helped inspire the very successful Broadway show which became the movie Mamma Mia! (2008).
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary from Angela: “Why the scene’s memorable: Despite Muriel getting picked on, she keeps to herself that she knows of Nicole’s infidelity with Tania’s husband — she saw them in the laundry on the wedding day. She’s actually a better person than all of them, but because of her poor self-esteem and their casual cruelty, she doesn’t know it. This scene also sets up several wonderfully funny payoffs when Muriel makes her way to Hibiscus Island, meets up with another former high school girl tormented by Tania and her cronies, and who then throws a cat amongst the pigeons by telling Tania that Muriel saw Nicole and Chook fucking. One of the funniest girl-fight scenes you’ll ever see, set to a triumphant talent show performance by Toni Collette (Muriel) and Rachel Griffiths (Rhonda) of Abba’s ‘Waterloo’.”
Thanks, Angela, happy to include this bonus Daily Dialogue. A delightful movie and Toni Collette is such a terrific actress.
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