Daily Dialogue — January 9, 2014

Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It’s called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
Number Two: Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.
Dr. Evil: Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I’ve been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin’ bone here! I’m the boss! Need the info. Okay no problem. Here’s my second plan. Back in the 60’s, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a “laser.” Using these “lasers,” we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the “Ozone Layer.” Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.
Number Two: [pause] That also already has happened.
Dr. Evil: Shit. Oh hell, let’s just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here’s the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for… ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: Don’t you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!
Dr. Evil: Really? That’s a lot of money. Okay then, we hold the world ransom for… One… Hundred… BILLION DOLLARS!

— Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997), written by Mike Myers

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Explain the mission, suggested by Shaula Evans. Today’s suggestion by Alejandro.

Trivia: Mike Myers has revealed in interviews that the Austin Powers character was created based on a couple of instances involving his family. His father loved watching British comedies with actors like Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, so Myers always wanted to play an English character in a comedy. He also said that one night after coming home from hockey practice, he started flirting with his wife in an English accent. His wife laughed and told him to write the routine down, so he could do it again. Writing the routine down led to this script.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Yes, a scene that mocks all those explain the mission movie moments.

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