Daily Dialogue — July 12, 2012
BLACKITT: Sir… if– if we– we don’t meet again, sir, I’d just like to say it’s been a– it’s been a real privilege fighting alongside you, sir.
BIGGS: Yes, well…
SPADGER: Yeah.
BIGGS: I think this is hardly the time or place for a good-bye speech, eh? Hah.
BLACKITT: No. No, me and the lads realize this, sir, but, well…
BIGGS: Ehh.
BLACKITT: …we may never meet again, sir, so… I–
BIGGS: Yes, all– all– all right, Blackitt. Thanks a lot.
BLACKITT: No, eh, just a moment, sir.
SPADGER: Duck.
BLACKITT: You see, me and the lads, we’ve had a little whip-around, sir. We bought you something, sir.
SPADGER: Ahh.
BLACKITT: We bought you this, sir.
SPADGER: Ah. Hhh.
BIGGS: Oh. Well, I– I don’t know what to say. It’s a– it’s– it’s a lovely thought. Thank you. Uh, thank you all.
SPADGER: All right, sir.
BIGGS: …but–
WALTERS: You’re welcome.
BIGGS: But I– I– I– I think we’d better get to cover now.
BLACKITT: Hang on a tick, sir. We got something else for you as well, sir.
SPADGER: Aah.
BLACKITT: Uh.
SOLDIERS: Ah. Ah. Ehh…
BLACKITT: Sorry it’s another clock, sir. Only there was a bit of a mix-up. Well, Walters thought he was buying the present, and Spadger and I had already got the other one.
BIGGS: Well, it’s– it’s beautiful. They’re both beautiful.
WALTERS: Aah!
BIGGS: I– I think we’d better get to cover now…
BLACKITT: Oh, sir, and Corp–
BIGGS: …and I’ll thank you properly later on.
SPADGER: Uhh. Ehh.
BLACKITT: Corporal Sturridge got this for you as well, sir. He didn’t know about the others, sir. It’s Swiss.
BIGGS: Oh, well, now, that is thoughtful, Sturridge. Good man.
BLACKITT: And there’s a card, sir, from all of us. Sorry about the blood, sir.
BIGGS: Thank you all.
BLACKITT: Squad, three cheers for Captain Biggs. Hip hip–
SOLDIERS: Hooray!
BLACKITT: Hip hip–
SOLDIERS: Hooray!
BLACKITT: Hip hip– Oooooh!
SOLDIERS: Hooray!
BIGGS: Blackitt! Blackitt!
BLACKITT: I– I’ll be all right, sir. Oh, there’s just… one other thing, sir. Spadge, give him the cheque.
SPADGER: Oh, yeah. Uhh.
BIGGS: Oh, now, this is really going too far.
SPADGER: Oh. I don’t seem to be able to find it, sir. Uhh, it’ll be in– be in Number Four Trench. I’ll go and get it.
BIGGS: For Christ’s sake, forget it, man!
SPADGER: You shouldn’t have said that, sir. You’ve hurt his feelings now.
BLACKITT: Don’t mind me, Spadge. Toffs is all the same. One minute it’s all ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and the next, they’ll kick you in the teeth!
STURRIDGE: Yeah.
WALTERS: Let’s not give him the cake.
BIGGS: I don’t want any cake.
SPADGER: Look. Blackitt cooked it specially for you, you bastard!
STURRIDGE: Yeah, he saved his rations for six weeks, sir.
BIGGS: Sorry. I didn’t mean to be ungrateful.
SPADGER: Yeah.
BLACKITT: I’ll be all right. Ahh!
SPADGER: Blackitt! Blackie! Look at him. He worked on that cake like no one else I’ve ever known. Some nights it was so cold, we could hardly move, but Blackie’d be out there slicing the lemons, mixing the sugar and the almonds. I mean, you try trying to get butter to melt at fifteen degrees below zero! There’s love in that cake. This man’s love… and this man’s care… and this m– Aghh!
BIGGS: Oh, my Christ!
STURRIDGE: You bastard.
BIGGS: All right! We will eat the cake! They’re right. It’s– It’s too good a cake not to eat! Get the plates and knives, Walters.
WALTERS: Yes, sir. How many plates?
BIGGS: Six.
WALTERS: Fine. Aahh!
BIGGS: Uh.
WALTERS: Agh.
BIGGS: Oh. Better make it five.
STURRIDGE: Tablecloth, sir?
BIGGS: Yes, get the tablecloth.
STURRIDGE: Aaghh! Uh.
BIGGS: No, no, no, no. I’ll– I’ll get the tablecloth and you’d better get the gate-leg table, Hordern.
HORDERN: Ohh. Aahh! And the little mats, sir?
BIGGS: Yes!
HORDERN: Right-o.
BIGGS: All right, while you’re at it, you’d better get a doily!
HORDERN: I’ll bring two, sir, in case one gets scrumpled.
BIGGS: Okay! Eh.
[boom boom boom]
— The Meaning of Life (1983), written by Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Eric Idle & Terry Jones & Michael Palin
http://static.movieclips.com/embedplayer.swf?shortid=dDwK
The Daily Dialogue theme this week is departure, suggested by MatchesMalone. Today’s suggestion is by Teddy Pasternak.
Trivia: Python refused to show Universal Studios a film script, figuring, as Eric Idle said, “If we couldn’t work out how to make a Monty Python film, they couldn’t tell us.” Instead they showed them a poem, which was a summary of the film, and a budget projection. “And to their credit,” says Idle, “they paid for the film on that.” Idle recites the poem on the DVD version of the movie.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Who else but Monty Python would think to do a sketch about a good-bye speech?