Daily Dialogue — June 13, 2012

SIDDIE: Watch your ring with my stocking
ALFIE: Move over a bit then…get your knee off the steering wheel!
SIDDIE: I can’t I’m stuck
ALFIE: Here, look out, I’ll do it.
SIDDIE: Ooh, that hurt.
ALFIE: I told you before to be careful where you put your legs!
SIDDIE: I was only trying to be helpful.ALFIE: I can help meself…(to camera) Oh, hello. They never make these cars big enough do they? Well, you all settled in? Right, we can begin. My name is –
SIDDIE: Alfie!
ALFIE: Alfie. I suppose you think you’re goin’ to see the bleedin’ titles now. Well you’re not, so you can all relax.
SIDDIE: Alfie!
ALFIE: Here, what time did your old man say he’d be waiting for you at the station?
SIDDIE: Oh never mind about him.
ALFIE: That’s just who I am going to mind. Never spoil a good thing. That’s a thing you women can’t get into your heads. Come on now, enoughs as good as a feast.
SIDDIE: Oh, you sure changed your tune
ALFIE: Well that horn put me off. I hate a noise at a time like that. (to a dog) Oh hey mate.
SIDDIE: Here, don’t forget your napkin. Do you know what thought the fist time I saw you put your handkerchief over your shoulder?
ALFIE: What?
SIDDIE: Thought you were going to take out your fiddle and play.
ALFIE: Well I come from a musical family, don’t I? Here.
SIDDIE: What?
ALFIE: Mind you don’t catch cold.
SIDDIE: I’ve had a lovely time, Alfie.
ALFIE: A married woman, see. They’re everyone of them in need of a good laugh. It don’t never strike their husbands. I always say make a married woman laugh and you’re half-way there with her. Course, it don’t work with a single bird. Start you off on the wrong foot. You get one of those laughing you won’t get nothing else…Here, just listen to it. It was dead glum when I met it tonight. I listened to all of its problems then I got it laughing, it will go home happy.

— Alfie (Michael Caine), Siddie (Millicent Martin), Alfie (1966), screenplay by Bill Naughton, based on his play

ALFIE: It’s been said that clothes speak the international language. And I have to admit, I’m a bit of a fashion whore. Unfortunately, today I’ve got work, and I have to tone it down a little bit, but that’s all right. Gucci. End-of-summer sale. Very understated. And I can easily spice it up with… What? No, no. I know what you are thinking. If you ooze masculinity, like some of us do, you have no reason to fear pink. Smashing. Now, in the cologne department, most men overdo it. Americans practically spray it on with a crop-duster. My rule: Nothing above the neck, though I do like a little splash on Big Ben. You never know where the day may take you. Almost forgot. New word for the day. ”Ostentatious: The attempt to attract attention to oneself.” Who? Me? Oh, blimey. I’m so rude. I haven’t introduced myself. — I’m…
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Alfie?
ALFIE: There you go. Alfie.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Are you the little elf that left these mocha bonbons on my doorstep?
ALFIE:No, no, no. You must have a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: You are such a doll, Alfie. But I’m supposed to be on a diet.
ALFIE:Oh, on a diet?
MRS. SCHNITMAN: A diet.
ALFIE: You?
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Yeah.
ALFIE: Now, I don’t mean to be forward, Lu, but you should know by now that a full-figured girl like yourself — is every guy’s secret fantasy.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Stop it.
ALFIE: So she’s a tub of lard. The ship’s already sailed, so why not make her feel good about herself, right? Oh, Lu?
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Yes, angel?
ALFIE: I’m working the night spot, and my apartment is a horror show, so I’m sorry if I keep you up — with the dust-busting at 2 a.m.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Oh, don’t you worry. — I’ll give it a quick straighten.
ALFIE: Oh, no, no, you don’t need to that.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Nonsense. I like doing things for you, Alfie.
ALFIE: I’m a blessed man having you in my life.
MRS. SCHNITMAN: Thank you.
ALFIE: Keys are in the usual spot.

— Alfie (Jude Law), Mrs. Schnitman (Renee Taylor), Alfie (2004), screenplay by Elaine Pope & Charles Shyer, based on an earlier screenplay by Bill Naughton and his play

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is originals and remakes, suggested by Saint716 who also nominated today’s movies.

Trivia: This was the first of two films that featured Jude Law in a role originally played by Michael Caine. The second was Sleuth.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Here is what Saint716 had to say about the two versions of dialogue: “Why the change? This is a funny example because both versions “tell” by having the protagonist break the third wall. But at identical moments, the important title sequence, the 1966 version pulled from the first few pages of the book and shows the protagonist in a direct action. Whereas the 2004 uses more character exposition to allude to the actions of a man the audience will get to know.”

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