Daily Dialogue — June 27, 2012

BLOOM: It’s simply a matter of creative accounting. Let us assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man.

BIALYSTOCK: Assume away!

BLOOM: Well, it’s very easy. You simply raise more money than you really need.

BIALYSTOCK: What do you mean?

BLOOM: You’ve done it yourself, only you did it on a very small scale.

BIALYSTOCK: What did I do?

BLOOM: You raised two thousand more than you needed to produce your last play.

BIALYSTOCK: So what? What did it get me? I’m wearing a cardboard belt.

BLOOM: Ahhhhhh! But that’s where you made your error. You didn’t go all the way. You see, if you were really a bold criminal, you could have raised a million.

BIALYSTOCK: But the play only cost $60,000 to produce.

BLOOM: Exactly. And how long did it run?

BIALYSTOCK: One night.

BLOOM: See? You could have raised a million dollars, put on a sixty thousand dollar flop and kept the
rest.

BIALYSTOCK: But what if the play was a hit?

BLOOM: Oh, you’d go to jail. If the play were a hit, you’d have to pay off the backers, and with so many
backers there could never be enough profits to go around, get it?

BIALYSTOCK: Aha, aha, aha, aha, aha, aha!! So, in order for the scheme to work, we’d have to find a sure fire flop.

BLOOM: What scheme?

BIALYSTOCK: What scheme? Your scheme, you bloody little genius.

— Bloom (Gene Wilder), Bialystock (Zero Mostel), The Producers (1968), written by Mel Brooks

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is the Herald’s Call suggested by JasperLamarCrab. Today’s suggestion by Def Earz.

Trivia: Mel Brooks based the character of Max Bialystock on a real Broadway producer he knew who used to seduce little old ladies in exchange for checks that were supposedly to produce his latest play, which would usually be called “Cash.”

Dialogue On Dialogue: This is an interesting variation on the Herald’s Call. The first part is a Herald (Bloom) unintentionally summoning up a “scheme.” The second part is a Herald (Bialystock) taking the call and turning it back toward Bloom. What a wonderful movie! And Dick Shawn as Hitler. Drop dead hysterical.

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