Daily Dialogue — March 18, 2015
Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We’ve been walking for forty-five minutes.
Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
Brick Tamland: Fantastic.
Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
Brick Tamland: Okay.
Ron Burgundy: Uh oh, here comes trouble.
Wes Mantooth: Burgundy and the ladies went out for a little stroll, huh? Go out walking around, talking things through?
Ron Burgundy: [to his team] Keep a tight perimeter.
Wes Mantooth: Yes siree, well, well, well. Ron Burgundy and the channel four news team. Where’s your mommy?
Ron Burgundy: You back off evening news team.
Wes Mantooth: You know I understand that ah they had to bring a female in to change your diapers wipe the dribble away from your bubbling lips. Rub Vaseline all over your heinie and tell you that it’s special and different from everyone else’s.
Brick Tamland: Heinie… He said heinie!
Champ Kind: Brick, get back over here!
Brick Tamland: Heinie.
Wes Mantooth: Does she tuck you in Ronnie? Give you a little kiss on your forehead, tell you everything is going to be OK?
Ron Burgundy: I’ve had enough of you Mantooth, this is going to end right here, right now. Let’s dance, dickweed.
Wes Mantooth: You wanna dance, Ronnie?
Whips out a knife.
Wes Mantooth: I wanna polka.
Ron Burgundy: Come get a taste.
[they all start displaying weapons]
Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a handgrenade?
Brick Tamland: I don’t know.
Wes Mantooth: Alright, let’s do this.
Frank Vitchard: Hey! If you’re going to have a fight, then don’t forget channel two news with me, lead anchor Frank Vitchard.
Ron Burgundy: You dirtbags have been in third place for five years.
Frank Vitchard: Yeah? Well you’re about to be in dead place.
Public TV News Anchor: Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy.
Spanish Anchor: Como estan, beetches? Spanish language news is here. Tonight’s top story: The sewers run red with Burgundy’s blood.
Public TV News Anchor: Well, it looks like we got ourselves a bi-lingual bloodfest.
Ron Burgundy: Now before we do this, let’s go over the ground rules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face…
Spanish Anchor: Of course.
Ron Burgundy: And that’s it! Now let’s do this. Begin.
Frank Vitchard: [to Burgundy] I am gonna straight-up murder your ass!
Public TV News Anchor: [behind Frank] Blade!
Fighter: [handing him a machete] Here ya go, mate!
Frank Vitchard: [public news anchor cuts off Frank’s arm] Ah! I did not see that one coming!
Wes Mantooth: [holds knife to Ron’s chest] Now I’ll be number one.
Ron Burgundy: No you won’t.
Spanish Anchor: [Hears police sirens] Policia!
Back in the office.
Ron Burgundy: [sighs] Boy, that escalated quickly.
— Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), written by Will Ferrell, Adam McKay
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Competition. Today’s suggestion by James Schramm.
Trivia: Will Ferrell’s character, Ron Burgundy, was inspired by veteran Detroit WDIV-TV broadcaster Mort Crim (1978–1997).
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by James: “People might actually watch the local news if this type of competition determined the best news team.”
If you have a suggestion for this week’s theme, please post in comments.