Daily Dialogue — March 22, 2014
King Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. [The Black Knight doesn’t respond] I am Arthur, King of the Britons. [no response] I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot. [no response] You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? [no response] You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!
Attempts to get around the Black Knight.
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass!
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
They fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight’s left arm.
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: ’Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
Black Knight: No, it isn’t!
King Arthur: Well, what’s that then?
King Arthur: I’ve had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
They fight again. Arthur cuts off the Knight’s right arm.
King Arthur: Victory is mine! [kneels to pray] We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
Cut off by the Knight kicking him.
Black Knight: Come on, then.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You’ve got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes, I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
The Knight kicks Arthur.
King Arthur: Look, stop that!
Black Knight: Chicken! Chicken!
King Arthur: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right!
Arthur slices off one of the Knight’s legs.
Black Knight: Right. I’ll do you for that.
King Arthur: What?
The Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off.
Black Knight: Right, I’ll do you for that!
King Arthur: You’ll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I’m invincible!
King Arthur: …You’re a loony.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
He lunges toward Arthur who slices off the Knight’s remaining leg.
Black Knight: All right. We’ll call it a draw.
King Arthur: [Preparing to leave] Come, Patsy.
King Arthur and Patsy ride off.
Black Knight: Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off!
— Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), written by Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Eric Idle & Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones & Michael Palin
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Standoff.
Trivia: Funds earned by Pink Floyd’s album “The Dark Side of the Moon” went towards funding The Holy Grail. The band were such fans of the show they would halt recording sessions just to watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus (1969).
Dialogue On Dialogue: When my son Will was 12 and Luke was 3, they used to perform this bit over and over and over again, they knew every line by heart.
Comment Archive