Daily Dialogue — March 30, 2014

“Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn’t be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There’s something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I’m way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn’t fat I would be happier. I wouldn’t have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that’s fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn’t that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that’s not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it’s my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I’ll still be ugly though. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

— Adaptation (2002), screenplay by Charlie Kaufman & Donald Kaufman, book by Susan Orlean

The Daily Dialogue theme this week: Self-Deprecation, suggested by JasperLamarCrab.

Trivia: Donald Kaufman was nominated for a Golden Globe with Charlie Kaufman, despite being a fictional character. They were also both nominated for an Academy Award and the Academy made it known that, in the event of a victory, the two brothers would have to share one statue.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Perhaps the most eloquent example of self-deprecation in recent movie history. It’s quite a monologue (over credits), yet conveys an enormous amount about the story’s Protagonist and sets the table for the self-doubt that vexes him throughout the story.

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