Daily Dialogue — March 6, 2018
Bleeker retrieves a book from his open locker. Juno marches up to him, belly leading the way.
Juno: Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina De Voort?
Bleeker: Um, hi?
Juno: Leah just told me you were going with her.
Bleeker: Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to go. A bunch of us from the team are going to Benihana, then the prom, then Vijay’s parents’ cabin.
Juno is clearly AFFRONTED.
Bleeker: (meekly) We’re getting a stretch limo.
Juno: Your mom must be really glad you’re not taking me.
Bleeker: You’re mad. Why are you mad?
Juno: I’m not mad. I’m in a fucking great mood. Despite the fact that I’m trapped in a fat suit I can’t take off, despite the fact that everyone is making fun of me behind my back, despite the fact that your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday…
Bleeker: Katrina’s not my girlfriend! And I doubt she was actually giving you the stinkeye. She just looks like that all the time.
A GIRL strides past (obviously KATRINA) with a sour look aimed squarely at Juno.
Juno: Whatever. Have fun at the prom with Soupy Sales. I’m sure I can think of something way more cool to do that night. Like I could pumice my feet, or go to Bren’s dumb Unitarian church, or get hit by a ten-ton truck full of hot garbage juice. All those things would be exponentially cooler than going to the prom with you.
She starts to walk away. Bleeker takes a deep breath.
Bleeker: You’re being really immature.
Juno: (turning around) What?
Bleeker BRACES himself and pushes up his lab goggles.
Bleeker: You don’t have any reason to be mad at me. You broke my heart. I should be royally ticked at you, man. I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn’t want to talk to you anymore.
Juno: Why? Because I got bored and had sex with you one day, and then I didn’t, like, marry you?
Bleeker: Like I’d marry you! You would be the meanest wife of all time. And anyway, I know you weren’t bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV. The Blair Witch Project was on Starz, and you were like, “Oh, I want to watch this, but we should make out instead. La la la.”
Juno: Forget it, Bleek. Take Katrina the Douche Packer to the prom. I’m sure you guys will have a really bitchin’ time!
Bleeker: (searching for a comeback) Yeah, well… I still have your underwear.
Juno: I still have your virginity!
Bleeker: (looking around, panicked) Oh my God, SHUT UP!
Juno: What? Are you ashamed that we did it?
Bleeker: No…
Juno: Well, at least you don’t have to walk around with the evidence under your sweater. I’m a planet!
— Juno (2007), written by Diablo Cody
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Teen Talk.
Trivia: At one point before Juno visits Mark, he is sitting at his computer reading Diablo Cody’s (the movie’s screenwriter) real-life blog, known as “The Pussy Ranch”.
Dialogue On Dialogue: How did Diablo Cody nail the teen voices in her script for Juno? In one interview I read, she said she hung out in online chat rooms frequented by adolescents and took copious notes of their jargon. Good tip.
