Daily Dialogue — October 16, 2015

Dorothy Michaels: Excuse me, I’m wondering if you can help me? I’m looking for the Russian Tea Room.
George Fields: This is the Russian Tea Room, right here. You’re standing in front of it.
Dorothy Michaels: Oh well, my stars, so it is. Well, this is very embarrassing.
George Fields: Yeah well, this is it.
Dorothy Michaels: Thanks very much.
Maitre d’: Good afternoon, Mr. Fields…
George Fields: Good to see you.

Inside the restaurant.

Maitre d’: Nice to see you [pulls table out for him] Please sit down.
George Fields: Thank you.
Maitre d’: Your waiter will be here in just a minute
George Fields: Thank you. [acknowledges another diner] Hey there, Ronnie, how are you?
Dorothy Michaels: [sits down at table] Hi.
George Fields: Wait a minute, wait…
Dorothy Michaels: I’m new in town and awfully lonely. I wonder if you wouldn’t mind buying me lunch?
George Fields: Wait, wait, hold it. You can’t come…[to Maitre d’] Gregory, this woman…
Dorothy Michaels: [pinches him] George, George…[switches to normal voice] It’s Michael Dorsey. Okay? Your favorite client. [back to higher voice] How are you? [lower voice] Last time you got me a job, it was a tomato [higher voice] Yeah, swear to God.
George Fields: Michael?
Dorothy Michaels: Yeah.
George Fields: Oh God, I begged you to get some therapy.
Dorothy Michaels: I know and you also told me that no one would ever hire me again.
George Fields: Jesus Christ, you think this is going to make a difference?
Dorothy Michaels: I got a soap, George. I’m the new woman administrator on ‘Southwest General’…
George Fields: You’re what?
Dorothy Michaels: Congratulate me. They almost didn’t hire me because they thought I looked too feminine.
Waiter: Something from the bar?
Dorothy Michaels: Isn’t that amazing?
George Fields: Yes, could you get me a double vodka right away?
Waiter: For the lady?
Dorothy Michaels: How about a Dubonnet with a twist.
Waiter: Yes, Ma’am.
Dorothy Michaels: Thank you. That’s a lovely blouse.
Waiter: Thank you.
Dorothy Michaels: You’re welcome.
George Fields: You’re not going to get away with this.
Dorothy Michaels: I got away with it. Look around.
George Fields: I don’t believe this.
Dorothy Michaels: Why not? [moves closer to him]
George Fields: I mean I believe it. I just don’t believe that anyone else is going to.
Dorothy Michaels: You want to be it?

A couple of men approach.

Phil Weintraub: George.
George Fields: Hi, Phil.
Phil Weintraub: You know Joel Spector?
George Fields: Hello Joel, how are you?
Joel Spector: How you doing?
George Fields: Hi, Phil.
Dorothy Michaels: Hi.
George Fields: Ah, listen I talked to Stuart. I talked to him yesterday, he’ll be one more week in London then he definitely [Dorothy blows in his ear and grabs his knee] then he definitely…
Dorothy Michaels: I missed you. You know you’re such a tickly wickly, you’ve never been that ticklish before. [to Phil and Joel] We go back years. We haven’t been introduced
Joel Spector: Joel Spector.
Dorothy Michaels: Hi.
Phil Weintraub: Phil Weintraub.
Dorothy Michaels: Hi.
George Fields: Sorry, this is Michael…
Dorothy Michaels: Dorothy Michaels, nice to meet you.
Phil Weintraub: Pleasure.
Dorothy Michaels: May I say Mr. Weintraub, that you are the best director…
George Fields: [corrects] Producer.
Dorothy Michaels: Sorry, producer on the Broadway scene today.
Phil Weintraub: Thank you, thank you ,Ms. Michaels. Hope to see you again.
Dorothy Michaels: Yes, let’s have lunch.
Phil Weintraub: Fine. George.
George Fields: I’ll call you.
Joel Spector: Nice meeting you.
Dorothy Michaels: [to George] You know he’s very handsome, I think you ought to represent him.
George Fields: You are psychotic.
Dorothy Michaels: No, I’m not, I’m employed. [sings] I’ve got the whole world…
George Fields: Don’t, don’t… shut-up. Just don’t get close to me.
Dorothy Michaels: I want you to loan me a thousand dollars until payday.
George Fields: For what?
Dorothy Michaels: For what? For what? I’ve got to have something to wear besides this.

— Tootsie (1982), screenplay by Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Cross Dressing. Today’s suggestion by James Schramm and Michael Waters.

Trivia: Dustin Hoffman allegedly tried out his role as Dorothy by passing himself off as his daughter’s Aunt Dorothy at her parent’s evening at school. His performance was so strong he actually convinced the teachers present. They never suspected.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by James: “Love the vaudevillian interplay between George and Dorothy. Has a very improvised feel to it. Great scene.”

Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Micahel: “Cross-dressing movies are a tribute to the suspension of disbelief in cinema but they all have one thing in common. At some point the on-screen characters must see what we at home or in the cinema have already noticed. This is the funniest such reveal scene I can remember.

When Dorothy goes off-script during a live broadcast of a daytime hospital soap, her inane driveling threatens to sink all the carefully crafted plot lines.

Her dialogue is hilarious but heightened by a series of ‘reaction one liners’. For me Ron wins the dialogue dual.

Ron: “I knew there was some reason she didn’t like me.”