Script To Screen: “Tootsie”

“That’s what I said! So if a tomato can’t move, how can it sit down?! I was a great tomato! I was a stand-up tomato!”

A critical scene from the 1982 comedy Tootise (screenplay by Murray Schisgal and Larry Gelbart, story by Don McGuire and Larry Gelbart) because you have to absolutely believe that Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) has no other resort than to take on the persona of Dorothy Michaels — or else you don’t have a movie. This scene locks down that critical point. Track all the ‘doors’ that Michael’s agent George Grey (Sydney Pollack) closes, limiting Michael’s choices until he has only one.

INT. CORRIDOR

Michael striding down miles of carpeting, into George’s
office.

SECRETARY
(jumping up)
Michael, he’s tied up now.
I swear.

He strides past into:

INT. GEORGE GREY’S OFFICE

George Grey is around 50, impeccably dressed, talking
on the phone. As Michael enters:

GEORGE
(into phone)
Hold on a second.
(pushes hold)
Michael, can you wait outside,
please? I’m talking to the
Coast.

MICHAEL
This is a coast, too, George.
New York is a coast!

GEORGE
Wait a minute.
(releases “hold;”
then, into phone)
Sy, listen —
(beat)
Sy?
(into intercom)
Margret, get him back, will you?
I cut myself off.

MICHAEL
Terry Bishop is doing “Iceman
Cometh.” Why didn’t you send
me up for that, George? You’re
my agent too.

GEORGE
Stuart Pressman wanted a name.

MICHAEL
Terry Bishop is a name?

GEORGE
No. Michael Dorsey is a name.
Whey you want to send a steak
back, Michael Dorsey is a name.
Excuse me. Why do you make me
say things like that? That was a
rotten thing to say. Let me start
again. Terry Bishop is on a
“soap.” Millions of people watch him.
He’s known.

MICHAEL
And that qualifies him to ruin
“Iceman Cometh?”

GEORGE
Look, I can’t have this conversation.

MICHAEL
I can act circles around that guy.
I’ve played that part!

GEORGE
If Stuart Pressman wants a name,
that’s his affair. I know this will
disgust you, but a lot of people are
in this business to make money.

MICHAEL
Don’t make me sound like some
flake, George, I want to make
money, too.

GEORGE
Oh, really? The Harlem Theatre
for the Blind? Strindberg in the
park? The People’s Workshop in
Syracuse?

MICHAEL
I did eight plays in nine months in
Syracuse! And I got great reviews
from New York critics! Not that
that’s why I did it!

GEORGE
— No, of course not. God forbid
you should lose your standing as an
underground cult failure.

MICHAEL
Do you think I’m a failure,
George?

GEORGE
I will not get sucked into this discussion!
I am too old, too smart, and too successful!

MICHAEL
(goes close to desk)
I sent you Jeff’s play to read, it’s got a
great part for me in it. Did you read it?

GEORGE
Where do you come off sending me your
roommate’s play that you want to star in?
I’m your agent, not your mother. I’m not
supposed to produce your roommate’s
play so you can star in it. I’m supposed to
field offers.

MICHAEL
Who told you that? The agent-fairy?
That was a significant play!

GEORGE
Nobody wants to do that play!

MICHAEL
Why?

GEORGE
Because it’s a downer! No one is going
to produce a play about a couple who move
back to Love Canal!

MICHAEL
But that actually happened!

GEORGE
Who gives a shit! Nobody wants to pay
$20 to watch people living next to chemical
wastes! They can see that in New Jersey!

MICHAEL
Ok, ok, I don’t want to argue about this
now, I’ll raise the money myself! I’ll do
anything! Send me up for cat commercials,
dog commercials, voice-overs, anything!

GEORGE
But I can’t send you.

MICHAEL
Why?

GEORGE
Michael, no one wants to work with you.

MICHAEL
That’s not true! I bust my ass to get a
part right!

GEORGE
Yes, but you bust everyone else’s ass
too. A guy’s got four weeks to put on
a play — he doesn’t want to argue about
whether Tolstoy can walk if he’s dying.

MICHAEL
The guy was an idiot. That was 2 years
ago.

GEORGE
They can’t all be idiots. That’s the last
time you worked! You argue with everyone.
You’ve got one of the worst reputations in
town. Nobody will touch you.

MICHAEL
Wait a minute…what are you saying? That
nobody in New York will work with me?

GEORGE
No. That’s too limiting. How about no one
in Hollywood will work with you either. I
can’t even send you up for a commercial.
You played a tomato for 30 seconds and they
went a half day over because you wouldn’t
sit down!

MICHAEL
It wasn’t logical.

GEORGE
You were a tomato! A tomato doesn’t have
logic! A tomato can’t move!

MICHAEL
That’s what I said! So if a tomato can’t move,
how can it sit down?! I was a great tomato!
I was a stand-up tomato!

GEORGE
Michael … Michael … you’re a brilliant actor.
But there’s nothing I can do for you. I think
you ought to get some therapy.

MICHAEL
(quietly determined)
— George, I’m going to raise $8,000 and I’m
going to do Jeff’s play.

GEORGE
(shaking his head)
Michael, you haven’t been listening. You’re not
going to raise .25 cents
(slowly)
No one will hire you.

MICHAEL
Oh yeah?

EXT. MADISON AVE. — LONG LENS — DAY

Teaming with people, coming and going. The focus gradually
forces us to noticed one woman moving towards us unsteadily
on high heels. She is Michael.

Here’s the scene in the movie:

Here are the doors that close on Michael:

• People want name actors; he’s not a name.
• George is not going to produce Jeff’s play.
• Besides nobody wants to see Jeff’s “downer” play.
• No one wants to work with Michael because he’s impossible to work with.
• Michael has a horrible reputation, nobody will hire him.
• Not just New York, but Hollywood as well.
• There’s nothing George can do for Michael.

George also reminds Michael that he hasn’t worked for two years, so we can infer that Michael is low on cash. Michael’s declaration that he’s going to raise $8,000 to put on Jeff’s play forces the issue: Now Michael has his pride on the line. And because all the doors are closed and he’s got to raise that $8,000, he’s got to do something.

Fortunately, George also tosses Michael a bone, if unknowingly: Terry Bishop, who is in Michael’s eyes a lesser actor than Michael, works on a “soap.” So if no one will work with Michael, that means he has to change his appearance to get work. And if Terry Bishop can get a gig on a “soap,” then Michael figures he can, too.

Cue the shot: Michael dressed as a woman en route to an audition on a soap opera.

One of the single best things you can do to learn the craft of screenwriting is to read the script while watching the movie. After all a screenplay is a blueprint to make a movie and it’s that magic of what happens between printed page and final print that can inform how you approach writing scenes. That is the purpose of Script to Screen, a weekly series on GITS where we analyze a memorable movie scene and the script pages that inspired it.

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