Trimming Tricks of the Trade, Part 4: Pseudo-Sluglines
This is the fourth and final post about little things you can do to save lines (and pages) in your script.
#4: PSEUDO-SLUGLINES
Technically when you use a Secondary Slugline (or Shot), you need to provide a line-space, then go to scene description. For example:
OUTSIDE THE DOOREve uses her body as a barricade.
In the past, I have gotten away with this:
OUTSIDE THE DOOR – Eve uses her body as a barricade.
Note how that potentially saves 2 lines. I call it a pseudo-slug and it can not only save you lines, it also reads really well in action scenes.
Here’s an example from a script I co-wrote “Stalemate,” optioned several times, but as of yet unproduced:
SNIPER P.O.V. – THROUGH RIFLE CROSSHAIRSFocuses in on Marty… dead center.QUINN dives at Mary, knocking him down. The Sniper SHOOTS.
A bullet bites dust… where Marty was standing.QUINN whips out his Walther. Unloads the magazine at the
Sniper, who swan dives into the dust…The BOXCAR DOOR rolls open… a GUNMAN leaps down, blazing
away with an Ingram machine gun… a trail of slugs at…QUINN AND MARTY who roll apart, bullets RIPPING the ground…TRUMBULL AND DONOVAN shove Sharon into the limo… the Driver
GUNS the engine…MARTY darts behind his Porsche… machine gun fire pierces
the car.THE LIMO spins away…
And so on. The beginning of each sentence, when capitalized, gives the same effect as a Secondary Slug, but because the scene description begins on the same line as the pseudo-slug, the version of what we wrote above saves about 14 lines of space.
Nowadays the concept of using lines or short paragraphs to ‘direct’ the action, suggesting individual camera shots, is pretty standard, so you don’t even need to cap the object of attention, the line itself can indicate the point of focus, but that’s basically a stylistic choice for the writer.
Granted all these tips are pretty mundane stuff. But when you’re looking at a script that clocks in at 135 pages and you knew there were tips like these that combined could knock off 7–10 pages without having to change the substance of the story, you might find great value in such mundane things.
Any other tricks you use to save lines / pages?
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