“Twas the Night Before Black List…”
Funny how things become traditions here at Go Into The Story. Two years ago, screenwriter Chris McCoy uploaded this series of tweets the day before the roll-out of the 2013 Black List:
“‘Twas the Night Before Black List and all through the LA / Writers were nervous — could this help them get pay?”
“Their loglines were sharp and polished with care / In the hopes that St. Franklin soon would be there.”
“The writers were ambien’d all snug in their beds / While visions of having a sustainable future danced in their heads.”
“The agent in Prada and the hopeful in Gap / Had just settled their brains (with pot) for a long winter’s nap.”
I asked Chris if we could run with his verse as a blog contest to which he kindly agreed and that led to this. It was so much fun, I decided to reprise it this year. The winner: Adam Pachter. So in the spirit of Christmas Eve, I thought it would be appropriate to share the poem Adam wrote completing what Chris started. Here it is!
“‘Twas the Night Before Black List and all through the LA
Writers were nervous — could this help them get pay?
Their loglines were sharp and polished with care
In the hopes that St. Franklin soon would be there.
The writers were ambien’d all snug in their beds
While visions of having a sustainable future danced in their heads.
The agent in Prada and the hopeful in Gap
Had just settled their brains (with pot) for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the line there arose such a clatter
I sprang onto Twitter to see what was the matter.
Away to my timeline I flew like a flash
Tore open the hashtag and gave a deep gasp.
The List of the Black gleamed like new-fallen snow
Shone like shiny new dollars to all writers below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a tiny Scott Myers, shaped like a reindeer.
With a dreadlocked young driver, dressed so very spankin’
I knew in a moment it must be St. Franklin.
More rapid than eagles his script picks they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called writers by name!
“Now Whitta! now, Kunka! now, Brophy and Miles!
On, Koenig! On, Golden! on Iqbal and Styles!
To the top of the list! to the top of them all!
You’ve now made the Black List! Now cash away all!
As Ferraris that before the wild traffic jam sigh
When they’re heading to Burbank + would much rather fly.
Now up to the list-top these writers they flew
With their roster of Agents, and managers too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on You Tube
The prancing and pawing of that sharp little dude.
As I clicked on the link, and was turning around
Down my in-box St Franklin came with a bound.
He was dressed all in brads, from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all courier 12-point to boot.
A bundle of Options he had flung on his back
And he looked like a producer, just opening his pack.
His brads-how they twinkled! his dimples how bright!
His cheeks were like paychecks, his nose a green light!
His droll little mouth was shaped like an attachment
And his lips gleamed like actors who were in for the askin’.
A director’s address he held tight in his teeth
Plus a studio head who was anxious to meet.
He had a broad face and I liked him immensely
Especially carrying that horn full of plenty!
I’d be chubby and plump, like a rich little elf
With my name on the list, I’d be wealthy myself!
“Wait, you’re Pachter?” he said with a shake of his head
And all my good feelings were suddenly dread.
He spoke not a word, but went back to his list
And my name wasn’t on it — what a terrible twist!
And giving a tissue for my runny nose
He said, “Sorry, my friend, but that’s how it goes.”
“You’ve written good scripts, Don’t give up on the fight.”
“You might make it next year, Why yes, you just might!”
Thanks, Adam, and to all the writers who took the time to compose a poem. I was so impressed by the submissions, not only did Adam win the Ultra Groovy Grand Prize, two script evaluations and three months hosting on the Black List website for free, I gave away additional Almost As Groovy Grand Prizes, one free Craft class of their choice I will be teaching in 2015.
In the spirit of Adam’s verse, my sincerest hope for each of you is that in 2015, you write a screenplay, teleplay, novel, short story, or poem that brings you the best of fortune and success… like making the Black List.
Happy Holidays!