Update: 2016 “Twas the Night Before Black List…” Challenge
Annual writing contest with Black List & Screenwriting Master Class prizes.
Annual writing contest with Black List & Screenwriting Master Class prizes.
I was stymied. Last week I posted the blog’s annual “Twas the Night Before Black List…” Challenge. We received six excellent submissions this year and I just couldn’t decide which three should receive the Grand Prize:
- Black List: One free month script hosting on the website and one free script evaluation.
- Screenwriting Master Class: One free Craft class of the ten I will be teaching January through May 2017.
For those who may have missed it, the challenge was to use this take-off of the traditional Christmas poem penned by screenwriter Chris McCoy:
‘Twas the Night Before Black List and all through the LA
Writers were nervous — could this help them get pay?
Their loglines were sharp and polished with care
In the hopes that St. Franklin soon would be there.”
The writers were ambien’d all snug in their beds
While visions of having a sustainable future danced in their heads.
The agent in Prada and the hopeful in Gap
Had just settled their brains (with pot) for a long winter’s nap.
And springboard off that to complete an original Black List Eve parody. Here are links to each of the six finalist poems:
To give you a taste, here is Tony’s entry:
Twas the Night Before Black List and all through the LA/Writers were nervous — could this help them get pay?
Their loglines were sharp and polished with care/In the hopes that St. Franklin soon would be there.
The writers were ambien’d all snug in their beds/While visions of having a sustainable future danced in their heads.
The agent in Prada and the hopeful in Gap/Had just settled their brains (with pot) for a long winter’s nap.
But still in my brain there remained such a clatter/Noisy doubts, like: “What if my script doesn’t matter?”
I dashed to my laptop, rewrites to attack/But I’m a writer, not a sprinter, so I threw out my back
The blue-tinted glow of the words on the screen/Gave the lustre of greatness yet to be seen.
When out from the hallway, who should barge in/But eight expert readers, scrutinizing my margin
Then in stepped a man with his dope dreads a-danglin’/I knew in a moment it must be St. Franklin.
More rapid than I.P. theft claims that aren’t true/He donned black-rimmed glasses and called on his crew.
“Scott Myers, the man from Go Into the Story!/Cooper Thornton in all of his narrative glory!
Kate Hagen, keeping all the new interviews cheery!/All contributors to the Essential Films Series!”
Like franchises built upon Y.A. adaptations/They were soon all around me with no explanation.
All eager to help and to do their small part/And reassure me that this was “not a bad start.”
Despite my confusion and cries for protection/They closed in with notes on thematic dissection.
They held out beat breakdowns and grammar corrections/And quadrants of targeted audience projection.
Then in stepped St. Franklin, with a wave of his hand/Like well-studied elves for the corners they ran.
He said nothing, which made me continue to fret/He looked like an investor, first touring the set.
His approval, so needed! The exposure, what distance!/The network he could provide with some assistance!
To be listed with writers who need no introduction/To be one baby step closer to glorious production!
I begged him to tell me what I had done wrong/And what they meant by “The denouement isn’t that strong.”
Was I the worst writer ever, like Uwe Boll has been told?/Should I ignore all the feedback, also like Uwe Boll?
He said, “Just consider the comments we give/But drowning in worry is no way to live.
Remember, to help you succeed is our task/When you’re prepared for the List, you won’t have to ask.
You should feel excitement on each Black List Eve/A night that reminds us what we might achieve.
Also, this is fantasy wrenched from your brain/Fueled by meals of cheap vodka and week-old lo mein.”
Then he faded out with his team right behind/Like I’d reached the last line of a script in my mind.
But as I sat, now at peace, to see the List fall/I could swear that I heard through the window: “Peace, y’all.”
Check out the other links, they’re all terrific. Hence my stymied state!
So I reached out to Franklin Leonard and he kindly offered to extend the free month of hosting on the Black List website and one free script evaluation to all six writers. And in the spirit of the season, I will match that generous gesture and give one of my Craft classes to each of the six writers as well. All of it for free!
So Chris, Dane, Katherine, Ken, Mark, and Tony, congratulations! Email me for details: GITSblog at gmail dot com.
Thanks, everyone, for participating in this annual event!
Happy Holidays!