Writing Sentences
Writing sentences. It’s perhaps the most fundamental aspect of what we do as writers. And though this tweet is more about writing prose, it makes a valuable point for screenwriters as well.
You should care about the look and feel of each sentence you write. Your words create a rhythm. Varying their length can make for a more interesting read. One screenwriter who does this extremely well is Shane Black. Let’s go all the way back to his script for Lethal Weapon, how it begins:
FADE IN:
CITY OF ANGELS
lies spread out beneath us in all its splendor, like a
bargain basement Promised Land.
CAMERA SOARS, DIPS, WINDS its way SLOWLY DOWN, DOWN,
bringing us IN OVER the city as we:
SUPER MAIN TITLES.
TITLES END, as we —
SPIRAL DOWN TOWARD a lush, high-rise apartment complex. The
moon reflected in glass.
CAMERA CONTINUES TO MOVE IN THROUGH billowing curtains,
INTO the inner sanctum of a penthouse apartment, and here,
boys and girls, is where we lose our breath, because —
spread-eagled on a sumptuous designer sofa lies the single
most beautiful GIRL in the city.
Blonde hair. A satin nightgown that positively glows.
Sam Cooke MUSIC, crooning from five hundred dollar
SPEAKERS.
PASTEL colors. Window walls. New wave furniture tortured
into weird shapes. It looks like robots live here.
On the table next to the sleeping Venus lies an open
bottle of pills … next to that, a mirror dusted with
cocaine.
She rouses herself to smear some powder on her gums.
As she does, we see from her eyes that she is thoroughly,
completely whacked out of her mind…
She stands, stumbles across the room, pausing to glance
at a photograph on the wall:
Two men. Soldiers. Young, rough-hewn, arms around each
other.
The Girl throws open the glass doors … steps out onto a
balcony, and there, beneath her, lies all of nighttime
L.A. Panoramic splendor. Her hair flies, her expression.
Rapt, as she stands against this sea of technology. She
is beautiful.
On the balcony railing beside her stand three potted
plants.
The Girl sees them, picks one up. Looks over the balcony
railing … It is ten stories down to the parking lot.
She squints, holds the plant over the edge.
GIRL
Red car.
Drops the plant. Down it goes, spiralling end over end —
until, finally … BAM — ! SHATTERS. Dirt flies. A
red Chevy is now minus a WINDSHIELD. The Girl takes
another plant.
GIRL
Green car.
She drops it. Green Dodge. Ten stories below, BAM
Impact city. Scratch one paint job. Grabs the final
plant and holds it out, saying:
GIRL
Blue car.
POW. GLASS SHATTERS. Dirt sprays. A blue BMW this
time. The Girl loves this game … her expression is
slightly crazed. She reaches for another plant —
There aren’t any. Her smile fades — And for a moment,
just a moment, the dullness leaves her eyes and she is
suddenly, incredibly sober. And tears fill her eyes as
she looks over the edge —
GIRL
Yellow car.
And jumps the railing. Plummets, head over heels like a
rag doll. Hits the yellow car spot on. She lies, dead,
like an extinguished dream. Still beautiful.
Notice the variety of sentence lengths. Some long. Some medium. Some just two words or even one. Yes, that means some don’t even qualify — technically — as sentences. However in a screenplay, we can do that. Remember the screenwriting mantra: “Minimum words, Maximum impact”.
Takeaway: Be mindful of each sentence we write. Use variety to add to the entertainment value and make for a good read.
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