Daily Dialogue — January 3, 2011

(A beggar sits in front of a bank playing an accordian. There is a monkey sitting next to him as Inspector Clouseau walks up.) 
Clouseau: Do you have a license? 
Beggar: What? 
Clouseau: City ordinance 147-B prohibits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize without a proper license.
Beggar: I don’t understand. 
Clouseau: It is against the leu (law) for you to play your musical instrument.
Beggar: Leu? 
Clouseau: What? 
Beggar: You say, it’s against the leu? 
Clouseau: Yes. Unless you have a proper license. 
Beggar: What kind of license? 
Clouseau: A license that permits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize. 
Beggar: Commercial enterprize? 
Clouseau: Yes. You play that thing and people give you the muhnay. 
Beggar: People give the monkey the money. 
Clouseau: It is the same. 
Beggar: Oh, no. I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me what to play, and I don’t tel him what to do with his money. 
(Through the window of the bank, you can see that it is being robbed.) 
Beggar: One day I came home and I found him sitting in my living room. I let him stay, but he pays for his own room and board. 
Clouseau: Then the minkey’s (monkey’s) breaking the leu. 
Beggar: But he doesn’t play any musical instrument. 
Clouseau: City ordinance 132-R prohibits the begging. 
Beggar: How do you know so much about city ordinances? 
Clouseau: What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind? 
Beggar: Yes.

 — Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers), Beggar (John Bluthal),The Return of the Pink Panther (1975), screenplay by Frank Waldman and Blake Edwards

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is mangled English suggested by Daveed. The Return of the Pink Panther suggested by Matt Rickett and Martin.