Daily Dialogue — September 20, 2010

Bobby: I’d like a plain omelet. No potatoes. Tomatoes instead. A cup of coffee and wheat toast.
Waitress: No substitutions.
Bobby: What do you mean? You don’t have any tomatoes?
Waitress: Only what’s on the menu. You can have number two, a plain omelet. It comes with fries and rolls.
Bobby: I know, but it’s not what I want.
Waitress: I’ll come back when you’ve made up your mind.
Bobby: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I’d like a plain omelet. No potatoes on the plate. A cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress: I’m sorry, we don’t have any side orders of toast. I’ll give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.
Bobby: What do you mean you don’t make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don’t you?
Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
Woman: Hey, mack.
Bobby: Shut up. [to Waitress] You’ve got bread and a toaster of some kind?
Waitress: I don’t make the rules.
Bobby: Okay, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee. 
Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else? 
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules. 
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh? 
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees. 
Waitress: You see that sign, sir? Yes, you all have to leave, I’m not taking any more of your sarcasm.
Bobby: You see this sign? [sweeps drinks from off the table]

 — Bobby (Jack Nicholson), Waitress (Lorna Thayer), Five Easy Pieces (1970), screenplay by Carole Eastman (as Adrien Joyce), story by Carole Eastman and Bob Rafelson

The Daily Dialogue theme this week is character meltdowns suggested by buccaneer, who also suggested Five Easy Pieces.

Trivia: Carole Eastman’s original ending had Dupea driving his car off a bridge. Rayette survives the crash, Dupea does not. 

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