Dialogue, Part 5: The Sounds of Silence
Our final post on dialogue and the power of unspoken words. Here one last excerpt from the script Jerry Maguire, written by Cameron Crowe:
Over the course of the script, Jerry is stripped of all his former trappings, deconstructed to the point where he can be rebuilt as a genuine human being. His transformation is marked by three relationships: With football star Rod Tidwell (CUBA GOODING, JR), with whom Jerry achieves a real man-to-man relationship; with Ray, Dorothy’s young son, who with his talent with numbers, represents a sort of proto-Jerry, the innocence of youth where Jerry probably first fell in love with sports; and, of course, with Dorothy.
Which brings me to one of the best sides of dialogue in recent cinema history. And given all the silent subtext Crowe uses throughout his script, this one does quite the opposite (p. 129):
EXT. DOROTHY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Jerry exits cab, holding hang-up bag. Looks at the house. On the other side of that window is a world he hopes he’s still a part of.
INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT
Jerry enters. Dorothy is seated toward the back.
JERRY
Hello. I’m looking for my wife.
Dorothy looks up, robbed of words. Stunned, she does not move.
JERRY
(continuing)
Alright. If this is where it has to happen, then
this is where it has to happen.
Dorothy says nothing.
JERRY
(continuing)
I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that?
He shares a look with some of the other women. She’s not going to say a word. Neither do they.
JERRY
This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living
room. Send me in there, I’ll do it alone. And now I
just… I don’t know… but on what was supposed to be
the happiest night of my business life, it wasn’t complete,
wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as
complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t
hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my
wife. We live in a cynical world, and we work in a
business of tough competitors, so try not to laugh –
(directly)
I love you. You complete me.
DOROTHY
Aw, shut up. You had me at hello.
Crowe lets Jerry go on and on — why? To set up the punch line, “You had me at hello.” Absolutely on par with Crowe’s favorite writer/director, Billy Wilder, who ended Crowe’s favorite movie THE APARTMENT with Shirely Maclaine telling Jack Lemmon, who, while shuffling cards to play gin rummy, just informed her that he loved her, “Shut up and deal.” Stellar stuff!
SUMMARY
Most often, words are a writer’s best friend. As long as you understand your character’s connection to your story’s Plotline and Themeline, you will be well on your way to grasping the essence of what you want them to say. But while you are drafting their dialogue, do not forget the power of subtext, which should be prevalent in your script, as well as the special impact of saying something without saying something — like the old adage goes, “Silence is golden.”
I encourage you to read all of JERRY MAGUIRE. Better yet, watch the movie while reading the script. Crowe, like James Brooks (who has produced some of Crowe’s movies), are top-notch screenwriters, especially brilliant at smart, mature romantic comedies. You can learn tons about character development, scenes and scene structure, and dialogue by reading/watching everything these two have ever written or directed.
After you’ve studied these masters, try to remember my former tennis teammate, Mac Paez. He understood the power of words well chosen — we should all aspire to such wisdom.
For the Mac Paez reference, you’ll have to all the way back to Part 1.
If you’ve been tracking these posts this week, you’ll probably be able to guess my subtext: Avoid the temptation to overwrite dialogue. Give the characters — and by extension th script reader — some room to breathe. Less is more is always a good motto for screenwriting, and nowhere more so than with dialogue…
Because some times, silence is golden.
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