Great Character: Tallahassee (“Zombieland”)
Since the kids are heading back to school, this month’s theme: Mentor. Today in his regular weekly guest post, Jason Cuthbert looks at Tallahassee from the 2009 movie Zombieland, written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick.
When we think of mentor movie characters, the generic assumption is that these selfless saints have some special Zen-like oneness with the universe, a mystical wisdom that even Ivy League tuition can’t provide you with the equivalent of and that these do-gooder tutors are role models that your grandmother would proudly cook Sunday dinner for. Then there are game-changer mentors like Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson in Zombieland from 2009. With a code name that comes from the zombie-invested section of Florida he used to reside in, Tallahassee is so far from calm that to call him calm would produce long distance charges.
TALLAHASSEE: Come on! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee’s nice this time of year!
Zombieland plot summary from IMDB:
A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, and a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the Last Twinkie and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America.
This Southern anti-gentleman takes his spaz attacks out on abandoned cars, retail store inventory and body part-biting zombies. Tallahassee is exactly the sort of mentor figure that his Zombieland survivors need — all adrenaline with a relentless juggernaut fighting status. But he does not even attempt to give off the valedictorian vibe of a worldly educated graduate student. His lessons are basically as straight forward as teaching his younger, proverbially paranoid sidekick Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) the recycled cliché-ridden, easily digested Rule #32 of Zombieland, “Enjoy the Little Things.” Tallahassee may be a mentor for post-zombie apocalypse manhood, but leaving him alone with your loved ones is as ludicrous as his temper is.
TALLAHASSEE: I’m not great at farewells, so, uh, that’ll do, pig.
The likelihood that Tallahassee will curse, yell or possibly punch someone with his generously reduced “45% power” can be bet on with accurate regularity. Tallahassee’s middle finger terms of endearment might make for a “Why are you in my life” road trip compadre, but these conflict-inducing qualities create a seismic scene-stealing movie character.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSvxvpY7PZM
Directed by first-time feature film director Ruben Fleischer (30 Minutes or Less, Gangster Squad) and scripted by the screenwriting squadron of Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (G.I. Joe: Retaliation), Zombieland is an astutely balanced horror comedy that often uses the comedy to startle you and frequently uses horror for laughs. But in a fictional version of the United States where the only other noted survivors are a morbidly lonely video gamer with a debilitating phobia of circus clowns and two young gold-digger sisters with a preternatural knack for auto theft; the fearless Tallahassee is vital thanks to his arousal when given the opportunity to splatter a zombie into bright red water colors to paint what’s left of his planet with.
TALLAHASSEE: [Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwprGyncs0A
But believe it or not, even in a world polluted with “Flesh Chefs,” there are still two amazing key elements of the human experience that can temporarily nullify Tallahassee’s desire to manufacture death — Twinkies and Bill Murray.
TALLAHASSEE: Six people left in the world and one of them is Bill fucking Murray. I know that’s not your middle name. I’ve been watching you since I was like… Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they’re connected.
For the unpredictability of his weapon-happy “I Will Survive” behavior, for the bumper sticker-worthy insults he hurls at his fellow man and his semi-back-handed yet genuine big brother/father figure duties of protecting Columbus from the fatal flesh barbeque lovers — Tallahassee is a brutally GREAT CHARACTER.
Mentors, like all character archetypes, can come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities, even a gun-toting zombie killer like Tallahassee.
Any fans of Zombieland? Join us in comments to discuss. And thanks once again to Jason! You may follow him on Twitter: @A2Jason.
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