“Hey, Fox … Here’s an Idea for That ‘Alien’ Remake”

We’ve already checked in with The Wrap “Schlock & Awe” columnist Michael Adams with one rant about Hwood’s obsession with remaking movies. Now he lets loose with another blast:

Yes, folks, 20th Century Fox has confirmed the rumors that have been getting a singular response — “You’re kidding?! WTF!?” — for the past week.

“Alien” is to be given a dust-off for an “origins” story.

Which leads Adams to speculate on more remakes of classic movies:

So emboldened, will studios start looking at other classic “brand names” that could do with a spit and polish?

A new Droog Alex, perhaps played by Zac Efron, could be a Gen Y hit, provided he posted his outrages on YouTube and grooved to Lady Gaga rather than Beethoven.

A new version of “Mockingbird”? Tough call that one. But a sequel? “Two Kill a Mockingbird” sounds about right. Or “To Kill a Mockingbird: Port of Call New Orleans.”

And surely “The Godfather’s” a bit, well, old these days isn’t it? How did those Corleones organize all that crime without iPhones? Surely a new version could add that and some bling?

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” would surely benefit from a more emo approach? Zach Braff in the lead? The Kills on the soundtrack?

Why not tap “12 Angry Men” for laughs? “12 Angry Douches” could have all the jury grossouts you need and multi-man bromance.

Once you start, it’s hard to stop.

What movies would you put on a No Remake List?

Comment Archive