Must read post by Josh Friedman

Josh Friedman hasn’t posted a blog entry since 2009, but this one is a doozy. Here’s a taste:

Last Sunday night the wife and I were sound asleep at 1145pm after a night of Entourage, True Blood and Schadenfreude. Because I have the iPhone4 and thus cannot use it as a phone, I had forwarded my cell phone to our home phone. At approximately 11:47:52, the phone rings and my wife answers it. Here is the call as has been best reconstructed:

WIFE: Hello…Who is this?
WOMAN: I need to speak to Josh.
WIFE: What? Why? Who is this?
WOMAN: Let me speak to Josh. He owes me money.
WIFE: Money? Call back in the morning.
WOMAN: I need to talk to him now. I’m in his office. He owes me money.
WIFE: (to me, handing over the phone) It’s for you.

WOMAN: Josh? I need my money. I’m in your office.
ME: I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. What office?
WOMAN: Your office. In Larchmont. I’m there.
ME: You’re in my office? At midnight. On Sunday? Describe my office.

At which point the woman gives me a very detailed description of my writing office — a second floor one room/one bathroom space that I rent because as much as I love my family…well, The Shining.

ME: Okay, fine, you’re in my office. Why? And again, who are you?
WOMAN: You know why I’m in your office, Josh. You’ve been here with me for the last three or four hours.
ME: Lady, I don’t know who you’ve been with in my office, but I haven’t been there for two weeks. I mean that’s a problem itself, my lack of motivation, but lets get back to what you’re doing there?
WOMAN: Well…I met someone claiming to be you on the internet and he paid me to come to your office and have sex with him. Only he didn’t pay me. He left. And now I’ve wasted my whole fucking night.

Great post. Creepy. Funny. And insightful into storytelling and TV network ‘wisdom.’

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