Question: “Where to specify master location in primary slugline?”

Open forum question from E.C. Henry:

My question is about where to call-out a specific geographical location such as a city in a master shot heading/slug line. I’ve consulted both David Trottier’s “The Screenwriting Bible,” and Christopher Riley’s “The Hollywood Standard: the Complete and Autorative Guide to Script Format and Style.”

Their advice leads shot heading to go from the general to the specific, but I’ve seen a few different ways of formatting, and I wanted to hear your opinion on the matter.

Given scene perimeters: Seattle, Pike Place Market, mid-afternoon, overcast. People have just witnessed a drive-by shooting of a rising pro-western dignitary from Iraq.

Format A:

EXT. SEATTLE — PIKE PLACE MARKET — SIDEWALK AND STREETS — MID-AFTERNOON (OVERCAST)

A group of stunned shoppers garther arround a downed body of a man dressed in a five piece suit.

The backside of a non-descript tan van rounds a corner and quickly ramps up its speed. Its SIDE DOORS SLAM SHUT.

TWO ARAB SECRET SERVICE MEMBERS in civilian attire, push aside shoppers, which block their line-of-sight.

PISTOLS up they run out onto the street, and squeeze off a couple SHOTS at that fleeing van.

SECRET SERVICE MEMBER’S POV — THE VAN

In the foreground below, sandwiched between two arms the pistol tracks the progress of the fleeing van.

Two fresh bullet holes are seen on the van’s back doors, but then the van takes a sweeping turn arround the intersection nearly getting rammed from an oncoming taxi. Nearly having a front end collision with a city busy parked at the intersection.

Once round the corner the van streaks out of sight behind the cover of the building before either sevice men can lock on a suitable target for their next shot.

GATHERED SHOPPERS — SUBJECTIVE CAMERA — DOWN ON SHOT MAN

Tan skinned, greased back black hair, mustache and beard well groomed and lined with grey. But with his glassed dead, this Arab politician’s career has come to abrubt end.

Off his breast is pinned a glassine badge. A picture head shot of a this Arab politician in happier times smiling, under which is seen the print which reads, “U.S. Temporary Visa. AMAD DEMBRASHAL: IRAQ’S FAQUID PARTY LEADER.”

Blood stains AMAD DEMBRASHAL’S white dress shirt in three seperate bullet holes. No blood spreads from the bullet hole on his forehead, though their is a growing puddle of blood spreading on the asphalt beneith Amad’s head.

The two members of Amad’s security detail ARRIVE. They barge through the shocked gathering, and take a knee before the man they were supposed to protect.

Shot heading format B:

EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET (SEATTLE) — SIDEWALK AND STREETS — MID-AFTERNOON (OVERCAST)

Shot heading format C:

EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET — SIDEWALK AND STREETS — MID-AFTERNOON (SEATTLE) (OVERCAST)

The ‘old school’ way I learned was this:

INT. / EXT. SPECIFIC LOCATION — TIME OF DAY — CITY

So for your thing:

EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET — DAY — SEATTLE

I’ve also seen it:

EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET — DAY (SEATTLE)

But for me, it all boils down to readability.
And the inclusion of SIDEWALKS AND STREETS and OVERCAST strikes me as too much.
Worse you’re going to have a primary slugline that carries over onto a second line.
I hate that.
That’s just me talking — not The Script Format Gods.
I am almost obsessive about constructing clean lines.
And a slugline that can’t be condensed to one line…
Is uncool…
At least to my eyes.

Besides you can specify the even more specific location — 
Sidewalks and streets — 
In scene description.
As well as the weather.

So:

EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET — DAY — SEATTLE

Busy streets, busier sidewalks. Overcast. [More SD].

That just reads cleaner…
Again — to my eyes.

But you have some flexibility…
As I’ve seen lots of different ways to convey all that info.

Just so you get across the three key pieces of info:
Inside or outside, specific location, time of day.
If you need to communicate what city, you can do as noted above.

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