Rob’s Finds

This week, Rob starts us off with a primer on horror movies. First, from Gunaxin.com, “The Ten Best Italian Horror Movies”:

Italian horror? Really? Is this something relevant and even scary? Hell. Yes. Italian directors of horror movies rank among the top greatest horror directors over all… yeah, that was a bit odd. Here: In the upper echelon of Horror Film Directors, Italians offer up some of the finest in that genre of movies. In fact, check out our list of The Thirteen Most Influential Horror Movie Directors and you’ll find that three of them are of the Italian descent. If you are as big a horror freak as I am, these names and the movies they did so well should come as no real surprise. These films are so solid and long-standing that their very existence has influenced so much of the American horror scene that we, as said Americans, often take for granted and assume (incorrectly) are our own. Check out ten pieces of some real, scary, horror.

Here’s #1 on the list:

Kill Baby… Kill

1966 — Dir. Mario Bava

Justly considered the ‘Godfather of Italian Gothic’ horror spreading his cinematic wealth to such film franchises as Friday the 13th and Scream, Bava’s Kill Baby… Kill is easily his very best. A ghost story through and through, and surprisingly light on the buckets of blood that Bava’s previous offerings spill, this movie relies far heavier on surreal and ethereal atmospheres that spook rather than stab. Here we find the protagonist not only circling in a chase after himself, but walking into the realization that he, too, is… yeah, you’ll just have to see for yourself.

For the other nine, hit the link above.

Next from the same site, this: “The Thirteen Most Influential Horror Movie Directors”:

I am a life-long fan of the horror film genre. I will watch anything I can get my hands on and, generally, it takes and awful lot to bother me. Gore, splatter, torture… you name it, I’m game. Very few things I’ve seen recently can claim to be anything original, though a few select films have come down the pike of late that are relatively fresh. In fact, the flavor of the past few years seems to be the running of the ‘remake’ factory, or, as certain film makers will have you believe with their verbal sleight-of-hand, ‘re-imaginings’. Either way, more often than not those reduxes tend to not only fall flat of their predecessors, but as decent movies as a whole. Well, if it’s classic horror and premier gore you crave, I highly suggest you check out the immense libraries of this Baker’s-dozen directors. They did it first, and they did it best. Enjoy!

And #1 on this list:

1. Jess Franco

Horror Film Claims To Fame: The Awful Dr. Orloff, Succubus, Count Dracula, Vampyros Lesbos, A Virgin Among The Living Dead, The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein, The Demons, Greta The Mad Butcher, Oasis Of The Zombies, Bloody Moon

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I have only seen a half dozen or so of Franco’s 180-film catalog, which isn’t to say that I dislike them in any way, it’s just that a few are a bit, shall we say, lengthy. This does nothing to take away from the simple fact that he is a master of his craft and is a huge influence on horror film makers of every generation he’s touched. Here’s a lovely description from Wikipedia: “Franco’s themes often revolved around lesbian vampires, women in prison, and sexual exploration (including several films based on the writings of Marquis de Sade). Franco also worked in other exploitation film genres, such as cannibal films and nunsploitation. His movies often contain long, uninterrupted shots of nude women writhing uncontrollably on the floor or in bed (such as in Lorna The Exorcist and La comtesse noire). He is also notorious for his use of hand-held camera and zoom shots, especially between 1968 and 1975.”

After dabbling in blood, guts, and horror, the only place I think we can go is — nudity! And thanks to Rob, we’ve got it for you: “The Ten Most Disturbing Nude Scenes in Movie History”. From filmschoolrejects.com in 2007:

This week, Hollywood is abuzz with anticipation for the CGI film Beowulf. The 3D epic features impressive motion-capture technology, the latest in digital effects and a photo-realistic three-dimensional Angelina Jolie

completely nude. Unfortunately, it also features a photo-realistic three-dimensional Anthony Hopkins nude as well.

This got us to thinking that while we love nude scenes in movies, there are some that should have been left on the cutting room floor. As George Costanza once said on Seinfeld, there’s “good naked” and “bad naked.” Here’s a list of the top “bad naked” moments in cinema history.

10. Harvey Keitel in The Piano (1993)

It was one of the top films of the year’s award season, but unfortunately it won the award for exposing the most junk nobody wanted to see. Let’s face it, this guy ain’t attractive even when he’s wearing clothes.

9. The Witches in The Tragedy of Macbeth (1971)

When Roman Polanski moved on from molesting underage girls, he decided to take Shakespeare to its gritty roots. This modern — and violent — filming of the Bard’s classic play featured the witches all wrinkly, dirty, old and naked. Talk about toil and trouble.

8. Anything with Will Ferrell

Like Anne Heche in the early 1990s, if Will Ferrell shows up in a film, chances are you’re gonna see his hairy man-boobs and appendix scar. Ferrell, while hilarious even in his most revealing scenes, is waaaaaay too proud of his body.

7. Billie Gibson in The Shining (1980)

Forget the danger of being hacked to death by Jack Nicholson. It was this rotting, flabby, ghostly image that kept us from wanting to go back to room 237 of the Overlook Hotel. And she was so hot as the young lady…

6. Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game (1992)

Even if you heard the spoiler about this infamous scene in The Crying Game, it was still a shocker.

Okay, they had me until The Crying Game which is a great movie. For the other five, hit the link above.

Finally, Rob goes all historical on our ass with this lulu he found:

Silent film footage taken in 1909 by Thomas Edison at Stormfield (CT) at Mark Twain’s estate. Twain is shown walkng around his home and playing cards with his daughters Clara and Jean. The flickering is due to film deterioration, but this is the only known footage of the great author.

Here’s a writer’s quote from Mr. Twain:

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself. — Watermelon speech, 1907

Thanks, Rob, for another week’s worth of interesting finds!