Rob’s Finds
Back for another weekly installment of “Rob’s Finds,” a compilation of the weird and wild movie-related stuff GITS contributor Rob Fuller finds on the Web. To kick things off, how about something to arouse your taste buds: “World’s Strangest Movie Theater Snacks”. By country you’ve got:
Spain — Red wine and Coca-Cola cocktail (Kalimotxo)
Netherlands — Salty licorice
South Korea — Roasted chestnuts
Japan — Baked fish skeletons (iwashi sembei)
Thailand — Tom Yum popcorn
Israel — Falafel-flavored chips
Russia — Beluga caviar
India — Cheese and chutney sandwiches
Barbados — Fish balls
And you didn’t think that fish had balls!
Then there’s this little ol’ movie called Avatar. After you had plunked down your cash, sat through the spectacle, then emerged into the night, momentarily thinking you were a changed person, there was this tiny niggling voice inside your head that was warning you all is not right in the world. And now you know what it is: “6 Reasons How Avatar Has Ruined The World”:
For all of the praise, and money, that Avatar has accumulated, I keep asking myself if that’s a good thing. I’m actually beginning to believe that Avatar has actually ruined the world. Don’t believe me? Here are six reasons why.
6. The Spoofs
Hustler is planning a porn spoof. Then, there’s the variations thrown up on Youtube. Rolling Stone recently put up rock stars in Na’vi form. And, you can bet that every geek and unemployed tool with too much time on their hands will be adding their entries as well.
Get ready to brace yourself for an Avatar overdose as the year unfolds.
5. Pointless Controversies
Speaking of silly controversies, the Vatican has criticized the movie because it toys with the idea of nature replacing religion. I’m sure that the Vatican could be doing something else, like you know helping people in need, instead of complaining about a movie.
Finally, some people are unbelievably complaining that Cameron is actually pushing pagan beliefs onto fans. Then, you have the other nuts that are pissed off at how “left” Avatar is, like being anti-military, anti-corporation and pro-Earth.
4. It Validates 3D
But, after Avatar’s success, we’re going to be saturated in 3D flicks for the next couple of years. While movies like Alice in Wonderland could be worth the price of a 3D ticket, the studios are going to go overboard. Sure kids flicks will be at the top of the list, but there’s also going to be utter wastes of time like Step Up 3D.
As if 3D movie’s getting shoved down our throats, there’s a possibility of getting headaches or yacking while partaking in the 3D festivities.
3. A Mountain Has Been Renamed After Avatar
The Chinese people are digging Avatar so much, that they’ve renamed a mountain in honor of it.
In central China, in the city of Zhangjiajie, officials have replaced the mountain’s name from “Heaven and Earth Pillar” to “Avatar Hallelujah Mountain”. Locals believe that the mountain inspired the floating mountain in Avatar’s fictional world Pandora.
2. Art Becomes Reality
This has been a longstanding cliche. A movie creates some unthinkable technology, and of course, we actually have to top it.
Such is the case with Avatar influencing future military technology.
1. Post Avatar Depression
Finally, there’s the ridiculous aftermath of the uber-successful movie.
Fans are claiming that they are suffering from “Post Avatar Depression”.
Oh, wait. More fun with lists: “100 Movie Cliches that Just Won’t Die”:
Movies, by their nature, rely on certain conventions to keep things moving alone. But here are 100 cliches that tend to get relied on over and over again…
1. Cars are never locked, and contain the keys needed to start them.
2. A person who is about to be attacked will refuse to look in the obvious direction from where the threat will come.
3. An aircraft will fall from the sky if left unattended for 10 seconds.
4. A moving vehicle can only be stopped either with a rocket launcher or goods train.
5. London is foggy.
6. Women can run in whatever footwear they’re got on.
7. The FBI always arrive by helicopter, irrespective of where they came from.
8. However threatening its predicament, the dog won’t die.
9. The immediate reaction of anyone in the path of something life threatening is to stand completely still and stare at it.
10. The bad guy always has an English accent.
11. In a horror movie, if a person is advised against any action, they then do that exact thing.
12. The biggest solider will die first and the stupidest officer will usually survive.
13. Automatic weapons are useless when confronted by a pistol.
14. Stolen cars are always fully fuelled.
15. The hero must have a friend who is a social outcast.
16. Bullets fired in aircraft cause explosive decompression.
17. Young kids are always smarter than adults.
18. Summer camps are filled with the musically gifted and psychopathic.
19. Remote places of the world contain unknown giant versions of animals.
20. If a person knocks another out and takes their uniform, it will fit perfectly, irrespective of the relative size, sex or even species
For more, hit the link. This list goes along with Kevin Lehane’s “The Definitive List of Cliched Dialogue”.
Just to prove that Rob is a guy with a heart, he offers us his own virtual PSA to remind us that February is TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar. Kick your DVR up to hyperdrive!
Finally, if you’re not one of the 13,775,000+ people who has already seen this, we offer up Rob’s weekly grand finale — a completely goofy video: “Star Wars according to a 3 year-old kid”:
Once again we thank Rob for wallowing in the shallow end of the Web’s gene pool — all for our prurient entertainment value!