Scene Description Spotlight: “Jerry Maguire”
Writer-director Cameron Crowe, whose movies include Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), Say Anything… (1989), Singles (1992), Almost Famous (2000), and Elizabethtown (2005), is known to write great dialogue. But if you study his scripts, you’ll quickly see how strong his scene description is — particularly in capturing the emotions of the moment. A great example of this occurs in arguably his best movie Jerry Maguire (1996): The scene where Jerry (Tom Cruise), who has been fired, leaves his job. Watching his meltdown is Dorothy (Renee Zellweger):
EXT. CORNER OFFICE — NIGHT
Bam. Jerry’s door opens. He exits his office with box. He
is now in a state of advancing melancholy, slightly unhinged.
Many of the other agents now try not to watch him leaving.
JERRY
Well, don’t worry! I’m not going
to do what you think I’m going to
do, which is FLIP OUT!
Jerry goes to a water dispenser, calming himself, and fills
a small Dixie cup. Downs it and fills it again, rubbing his
face..
JERRY
But let me just say, as I ease out
of the office I helped build —
sorry, but it’s a fact —
ON DOROTHY — WATCHING
from her cubicle.
JERRY
— that there is such a thing as
manners. A way of treating
people…
He notices the fish tank nearby. He attemps to be profound.
JERRY
These fish have manners! They
have manners.
And now Jerry feels bravado, mixed with a wave of anger.
Another cup of water as he finds power.
JERRY
In fact. They’re coming with me!
I’m starting a new company, and
the fish will come with me and…
you can call me sentimental.
He begins dipping into the tank, grabbing the one exotic fish
that failed to escape his cup. It’s a fire-tailed Peruvian
beauty. He grabs a baggie from an assistant’s desk, shakes
out some crumbs, and dumps the fish inside.
JERRY
(continuing; to fish)
it’s okay… it’s okay…
Nearby, a Xerox Repair Guy watches the human train wreck.
JERRY
But if anybody else wants to come
with me, this moment will be the
ground floor of something real and
fun and inspiring and true in this
godforsaken business and we will
do it together! Who’s coming with
me besides… “Flipper” here?
But clearly even Flipper is not happy with the new
arrangement. Panicked, he whips around the small baggie.
JERRY
Anybody going with me?
Silence, someone coughs, as agents and office personnel look
on with equal parts pity and embarrassment. Jerry downs
another small cup of water. His lid is blowing off with each
second.
JERRY
Wendy? Shall we?
Assistant Wendy looks at Maguire. Painfully polite:
WENDY
I’m three months away from the pay
increase, Jerry. I have to, uh…
you know, stay.
Jerry absorbs the blow, and takes the keys from the top of
her desk. She can’t look at him. Jerry stands alone, the
blue Mission Statement on Wendy’s desk sits accusingly in
frame. There is only silence now, the loudest kind.
JERRY
Okay, anybody else?
ON DOROTHY
She looks around. Doesn’t anybody believe in the very thing
they were applauding three days ago? She has an odd
reaction, a muscle twitch of the soul. Before she knows it,
she stands boldly, unfortunately knocking a cup of coffee
onto herself in the process.
DOROTHY
I’ll go with you.
(quietly, on her
coffee mess)
Wonderful…
She dabs at her pants. Next to her, Cleo looks on sadly.
ON JERRY
halfway across the office.
JERRY
Dorothy Boyd! Thank you!
She gathers her things, increasingly aware of what she’s done.
JERRY
We will see you all again. Sleep
tight!
He walks to Dorothy, and together they exit down the hallway
corridor, past the framed posters and awards.
WIDE-SHOT
rising over the huge office. For the first time, we see the
full expanse of the huge SMI headquarters. And down in the
corner of the frame, two small figures leave carrying boxes.
JERRY
(to Dorothy)
Let’s see how they do without us.
A beat of silence, then noise returns to its normal
commercial roar. A couple of fleas have been swatted off the
carcass of an immense beast.
There’s nothing like a really awkward moment to suck a reader deeper into the emotional life of the story. And this scene revels in the feelings swirling about the room. Check out these lines:
He is now in a state of advancing melancholy, slightly unhinged.
He attempts to be profound.
And now Jerry feels bravado, mixed with a wave of anger. Another
cup of water as he finds power.
Nearby, a Xerox Repair Guy watches the human train wreck.
But clearly even Flipper is not happy with the new arrangements.
Silence, someone coughs, as agents and office personnel look on
with equal parts pity and embarrassment.
His lid is blowing off with each second.
Doesn’t anybody believe in the very thing they were applauding
three days ago?
She has an odd reaction, a muscle twitch of the soul.
She gathers her things, increasingly aware of what she’s done.
Crowe not only describes what Jerry and Dorothy are going through — respectively — but the office personnel, the Xerox Repair guy… hell, even what the fish is feeling. And how about that description: “She has an odd reaction, a muscle twitch of the soul.” That conveys what happens at the precise instant Dorothy suddenly and unexpectedly blurts out, “I’ll go with you.”
If you’ve read books or taken courses about screenwriting, you’ve probably heard the axiom, “Only write scene description that an actor can act.” But that’s just not true. Much of Crowe’s description in this scene and throughout Jerry Maguire conveys the emotion of the moment —what I call psychological writing — and you will see that in almost any professional screenplay.
Remember, when you are writing a selling script — not a shooting script — you have one unalterable rule: To tell the story in the best, most entertaining fashion possible. Dipping into a script’s emotional current in order to sprinkle key description here and there can be an excellent way to pull the reader more deeply into your story — by helping them to feel what your characters are feeling.
Here’s the scene in the movie:
Wonderful movie. Strong scene description. Excellent psychological writing.
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