“Ten Non-Romantic, Non-Comedic Things to Cut From a Romantic Comedy”

From writer Linda Holmes on NPR.org:

I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I’m a pretty highly trained expert on movies with banter and kissing in them.

I’m not just talking about the ones you all know about, like When Harry Met Sally. I’m talking about the fact that I used to own I.Q. on VHS. You remember I.Q.? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Let’s just say Meg Ryan plays a genius, and we’ll leave it at that. (Oh, wait: it also features Walter Matthau as Albert Einstein, whose one good line — “I’m steering ze boooat!” — could be useful in a few boat-related situations.)

I’m talking about the large sections of The Cutting Edge that I can, and do, quote from memory.

I’m talking about how many times I saw While You Were Sleeping in theaters. (The answer has been redacted in the event I am one day nominated for a Nobel Prize, because it would be instantly disqualifying.)

So when I tell you that you really, really do not need to include in your romantic comedy the shot of the guy slinging the woman over his shoulder and dragging her out of the room like a sack of potatoes tied around the neck of a recalcitrant toddler, you should believe me. Here, in fact, are ten things to please omit from your film. Please.

Here is her list:

1. I love you so much that I enjoy hauling you around.

2. Throwing like a girl.

3. Punches in the crotch.

4. Anyone, in any situation, using the words “listen up, ladies.”

5. Rain-soaked fights.

6. Wicked, scheming other women.

7. Inapt comparisons to Mr. Darcy.

8. Cats that stand for loneliness.

9. Best friends of ill repute.

10. Makeovers.

Seems to me that if you cut out those moments, then rom-coms will clock in at about 60 minutes. Moreover the first five seem like a shot across the bow of potential male viewers, i.e., these are precisely the type of thing that guys need in order to put with being dragged to a rom-com by their significant other.

What do you think? Dump any / all of these 10? Any others to dump? Or do you like any / all of these 10? Rom-com fans speak up!


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