The GITS Club Logline Spotlight: “I.O.Lou” — Day 3

The past two days, we have considered a logline that writer Terrance Ellis posted over at The GITS Club. Here it is:

Desperate for cash to save his family home, a slacker sets out to collect on all his childhood IOUs from his now adult debtors.

If you haven’t tracked the discussion on GITS so far, you can see Monday’s post here and Tuesday’s here.

The basic idea is to share how a professional screenwriter might go about determining if a story concept is worth writing, then how they might approach developing it to write.

Thus far, I have focused on that first part — basically considering the logline’s market viability — and I’m going to go through that one more time today, basically a variation on themes we’ve touched on. You may be getting sick of these mental permutations, but I hope you’re not doubled over with disgust so much that you miss the Big Ass Point I’ve been trying my best to make these last three days, indeed, one I’ve made often on this blog before:

If you don’t have a strong story concept, there is little point in writing a spec screenplay!

I would have said “no point” if not for one caveat: You may write a story with such an enormously compelling central character, an A-name actor may froth over that role. That alone may be enough to sell the project, even if the story concept is so-so. But far better to write a script with a strong story concept.

Which raises the obvious question, “What is a strong story concept?” Here’s one way to look at it:

* A strong story concept has a grab.

* A strong story concept has an indicator.

* A strong story concept has an audience.

By GRAB, I mean the story concept has significant narrative elements which ‘grab’ a reader’s imagination, elicit curiosity, and arouse an emotional response.

By INDICATOR, I mean the story concept ‘indicates’ to a reader the path the narrative will take, and that it promises to be an entertaining ride.

By AUDIENCE, I mean the story concept conjures up a clear ‘audience,’ one a reader can readily match to a targeted, demographic group.

Let’s consider “I.O.Lou”: Desperate for cash to save his family home, a slacker sets out to collect on all his childhood IOUs from his now adult debtors. 

* Re GRAB, what narrative elements are indicated in the logline: (1) A slacker, which is basically a way of suggesting an everyman and underdog. (2) He has a problem: About to lose his family home due to a shortage of cash. Given the current economic downturn, probably something lots of people can relate to. (3) Adult debtors: That suggests a threat, possibly beyond losing the house. (4) Goal: Collect on all childhood IOU’s. That’s the part of the logline that grabs me the most. It’s different and strikes me as funny, even though it raises a question of logic: How could his childhood friends owe him enough money to pay off his debtors? More on that tomorrow.

* Re INDICATOR, what path does the logline seem to indicate: Protagonist is going to have to go back into his past, track down his childhood friends. That suggests a road movie. Perhaps some investigation required to find his friends. Could be some surprises in what his friends turned out to be as adults. So I do have somewhat of a sense of where the story could go, but here again (as yesterday) a yellow flag: If the story goes from Protagonist finding Friend A to Protag finding Friend B to Protag finding Friend C and so on, that could get to be episodic very quickly.

* Re AUDIENCE, this is a repeat of a question I raised yesterday. Then I was looking at it mostly from the perspective of a buyer. Today let’s look at it from a writer’s POV: Since I know this is not a kid’s movie, is this story concept something I feel confident I can write for 15–29 year old males? Is there enough ‘there’ for me to create enough compelling set pieces to rock this audience’s world? Frankly it’s not clear to me that’s the case — for instance, would young males really care about someone losing their house when most of then are either at home, college, or renting.

So if “I.O.Lou” was my original idea and I was being as honest as I could with myself about whether it is a strong story concept or not, I would have to say — probably not. However that one narrative element — Protag seeks out childhood IOU’s — still resonates with me. So even though I have my doubts, I’ll move to the next stage of consideration: To develop the story further to see if it has legs. Who knows? I may find some really cool narrative possibilities that elevate the concept into a strong one. Some brainstorming thoughts on that tomorrow.

Please post your thoughts and reactions in comments.

UPDATE: By the way, this is one of the values of thinking through a story concept in a comprehensive fashion — because I just remembered a movie that could be ‘similar but different.’ Broken Flowers (2005) starring Bill Murray:

As the devoutly single Don Johnston is dumped by his latest girlfriend, he receives an anonymous pink letter informing him that he has a son who may be looking for him. The situation causes Don to examine his relationships with women instead of moving on to the next one, and he embarks on a cross-country search for his old flames who might possess clues to the mystery at hand.

If “I.O.Lou” evolves into a road movie, the Protag visiting Friend A here, then traveling to see Friend B there, and Friend C over there, here’s a movie I might watch to see how they pulled it together structurally.

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