The Worst January Film Releases of All Time
From Flavorwire:
January is upon us, and we film fans know what that means: nothing good. The first month of the year is traditionally the dumping ground for Hollywood studios, the month in which they unload the films that aren’t quality enough for the Oscar-courting fall, but not commercial enough for the lucrative holiday, spring, and summer seasons. January is where bad movies go to die, and where studios hope we won’t notice them. They’re usually right; viewers either tend to catch up on the prestige pictures that are going into wider release, or just stay at home and watch football. But our nation’s film critics, fat and happy after the holiday feast of smart, highbrow entertainment, are often subjected to the sugar crash of January dogs, and as a result, their reviews often pack a little bit of extra vitriol. After the jump, we’ve assembled the ten worst movies released in the month of January — according to the reliable aggregators at Rotten Tomatoes — along with a few choice words from the scribes who sat through them.
Here are their 10 worst January releases:
Thr3e
RELEASE DATE: January 5, 2007
TOMATOMETER: 5%
Bloodrayne
RELEASE DATE: January 6, 2006
TOMATOMETER: 4%
My Baby’s Daddy
RELEASE DATE: January 9, 2004
TOMATOMETER: 4%
Down to You
RELEASE DATE: January 21, 2000
TOMATOMETER: 3%
Code Name: The Cleaner
RELEASE DATE: January 5, 2007
TOMATOMETER: 4%
Meet the Spartans
RELEASE DATE: January 25, 2008
TOMATOMETER: 2%
Epic Movie
RELEASE DATE: January 26, 2007
TOMATOMETER: 2%
Alone in the Dark
RELEASE DATE: January 28, 2005
TOMATOMETER: 1%
Pinocchio
RELEASE DATE: January 1, 2003 (wide)
TOMATOMETER: 0%
One Missed Call
RELEASE DATE: January 4, 2008
TOMATOMETER: 0%
For a taste of the article, here are Flavorwire’s comments on One Missed Call:
IN BRIEF: The outbreak of American remakes of Japanese “J-horror” movies was one of the most unfortunate cinematic trends of the 2000s, giving us such forgettable efforts as The Grudge, Pulse, The Eye, and Dark Water. But none fared worse than Eric Valette’s 2008 remake of Takashi Miike’s 2003 film, in which Shannyn Sossamon is haunted by a killer cell phone, or something.
THE CRITICS RAVE: “The direction is uninspired, acting is lifeless, and the script borders on the inept. A PG-13 rating means that it’s short on shocks, too” (Richard James Harvis, Hollywood Reporter); “The deadliest call the cast and crew of One Missed Call ever received was the one from their agent telling them that this was the best work available.” (Colvin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune); “To redial applicable catchphrases, this garbled American remake of Takashi Miike’s already staticky 2004 exercise in J-horror is a wrong number” (Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly).
And the movie’s trailer:
Has anybody seen any of these movies? Reactions?
For the entire list along with commentary and trailers, go here.
Of course, along comes The Devil Inside which broke early January records with a $34M opening weekend despite a 7% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
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