Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

H/T to GITS reader Robert Fuller for passing along this nice bit of whimsy: “Uncomfortable Plot Summaries”. There’s a lot of them. For a taste, here are those for movies beginning with the letter “B”:

  • BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
  • BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
  • BENJI: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
  • BEOWULF: Colonists hire assassin to drive natives from land.
  • BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
  • BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
  • BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
  • BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
  • BLAKE’S 7: Terrorists fight government, die.
  • BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
  • BOTTLE ROCKET: Mentally unstable man fosters friend’s descent into mental instability, finds love.
  • BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
  • BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
  • BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.

Methinks Blade Runner wins the group of “B” movies. How about the rest of them? Which ‘winners’ caught your eye?

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