Daily Dialogue — April 24, 2013
EXT. BERGDORF GOODMAN — DAY
The Fifth Avenue exit. Linda exits the building. The security guard exits a few moments later. Arthur and Hobson follow. The caravan travels back a block or so before the security guard stops Linda.
SECURITY GUARD: (showing her his badge) I beg your pardon, Miss. I’m the security guard in the store.
LINDA: (Most definitely from New York) Yeah? Trust me … you don’t need the badge. No customer would be wearing that jacket. Well, whattya want?
Arthur and Hobson are watching the confrontation, along with a small group of spectators.
SECURITY GUARD: I’m afraid I’m going to have to look in your bag, Miss. I saw you put something in it.
Linda takes out a pencil and pad.
LINDA: You’ve got trouble, mister! You’re never going to work on the East Coast again. What’s your name?
Angle on Arthur and Hobson watching.
ARTHUR: She’s sensational! I love her!
HOBSON: (bored) She does have a certain Eleanor Roosevelt quality.
Angle on Linda and the security guard.
LINDA: (writing) Chester Manning. Okay. What’s your address, Chester?
SECURITY GUARD: Um … Miss …
LINDA: (screaming) What’s the address, Chester! (louder) Let’s have it! I’m not playing games with you!
SECURITY GUARD: Look! I saw you put a tie in that bag!
LINDA: (furious) What did you say? (to the crowd) Somebody call a cop. I don’t want you to move out of my sight. Get your hands off me.
His hands are nowhere near her.
Arthur steps forward.
ARTHUR: (to the security guard) Uh … Chester … I’m Arthur Bach … I think I can straighten this out.
SECURITY GUARD: Hello, Mr. Bach. You really should stay out of this.
LINDA: Well … he’s in it, Chester. Tell him, Alfred.
ARTHUR: Uh … I know this young woman. In fact … we were shopping together.
LINDA: Right. Where the hell have you been?
SECURITY GUARD: She’s a friend of yours, Mr. Bach?
LINDA: He just said that, Chester. You’re such a schmuck, Chester.
ARTHUR: He’s just doing his job, darling.
LINDA: Well … this whole thing is being handled badly. You’re lucky he showed up, Chester.
ARTHUR: I asked her to pick out a tie for me. I was going to put it on my bill at the shirt counter.
LINDA: And you didn’t pay for it? Chester … what can I say? I had no idea.
Arthur starts to reach into Linda’s satchel.
ARTHUR: (to Linda) May I look at the tie?
LINDA: Of course. I hope you like it.
Arthur pulls out the tie.
ARHUR: I love it. Thank you. You’re really wonderful.
Arthur grabs her and kisses her fully on the lips. After the kiss, Linda looks at him menacingly.
LINDA: (after the kiss) Not in front of all these people, dear. They might think you’re an animal.
SECURITY GUARD: Mr. Bach … you understand that it’s my job to …
ARTHUR: And you did it well. I’ll mention it to Mr. Peterson when I see him.
LINDA: Me, too.
ARTHUR: Would you ask the woman at the shirt counter to put this on my bill?
The security guard goes back into the store. The small crowd disperses.
— Arthur (1981), written by Steve Gordon
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is making a scene, suggested by Trent Carroll. Today’s suggestion by Erica R. Maier.
Trivia: Dudley Moore was said to have based his performance partly on Peter Cook, whose excessive drinking had soured his and Moore’s comedic partnership in the ‘70s.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Erica: “This is one helluva meet-cute. After watching Linda shoplift from Bergdorfs — and immediately becoming enamored with her — Arthur follows her outside, where the security guard is already on her tail. Arthur and Linda interact for the first time in an outlandish exchange, making details up as they go. This takes your boring “Hi. How are you? Nice to meet you” -type introduction and propels it to an entirely different level. With a dramatic kiss to boot.”