Daily Dialogue — August 1, 2013
Harry appears over a rise, strolling happily along… when Slughorn appears, huffing and puffing to keep up.
SLUGHORN: Harry, I must insist you accompany me back to the castle immediately!
HARRY: That would be counterproductive, sir.
SLUGHORN: And what makes you say that?
HARRY: No idea.
Slughorn frowns impatiently — then stops, blinks.
SLUGHORN: Merlin’s beard…
Up ahead, Hagrid sits disconsolately upon a stump. Nearby, Aragog’s massive body lies legs up.
SLUGHORN: Is that an actual Acromantula?
HARRY: A dead one, I think, sir.
Harry and Slughorn approach a sullen Hagrid.
HAGRID: ‘Arry. ‘Orace.
SLUGHORN: My God, dear man. How did you ever manage to kill it?
HAGRID: Kill ‘im! Me oldest friend, ‘e was!
SLUGHORN: I’m sorry, I… didn’t realize.
Slughorn falters helplessly. Hagrid waves his hand.
HAGRID: Ah, don’ worry yerself. Yer not alone. Seriously misunderstood creatures — spiders. It’s the eyes, I reckon. Unnerve people.
HARRY: Not to mention the pincers.
Harry makes a little claw motion with his hand, while making a CLICKING sound. Hagrid eyes Harry curiously.
HAGRID: I reckon that too… How’d yeh get outta the castle anyways?
HARRY: Through the front doors.
SLUGHORN: Hagrid. I wouldn’t want to be indelicate, but Acromantula venom is uncommonly rare and, well, if you wouldn’t mind my extracting a vial or two — purely for academic pursuits…
HAGRID: Don’ suppose it’s doin’ ‘im any good, izzit?
SLUGHORN: My thoughts exactly! Always carry a few spare ampoules for just such occasions. Old Potion Master’s habit, you know…
Slughorn rummages about his pockets, extracts some SMALL VIALS — all empty save for one containing a HAIRY WORM — then scrambles up close to Aragog. Harry and Hagrid watch.
HAGRID: Wish yeh coulda seen ‘im in ‘is prime. Magnificent ‘e was. Jus’ magnificent…
Hagrid BLINKS wildly, then takes out a handkerchief and SNORTS LOUDLY into it. Slughorn looks up, studies Hagrid’s sorry expression with empathy and steps away.
SLUGHORN: Why don’t I say a few words? I trust he had family?
HARRY: Oh yeah.
SLUGHORN: (clearing his throat) Farewell…
Slughorn frowns.
HAGRID: Aragog.
SLUGHORN: (a nod) Farewell, Aragog, king of arachnids. Though your body will decay, your spirit lingers on in the quiet, web-spun places of your Forest home. May your many-eyed descendents ever flourish and your human friends find solace for the loss they have sustained.
HAGRID: Tha’ was… tha’ was… beautiful.
Hagrid wipes his eyes, then rises. He walks to Aragog, studies him lovingly, then puts a shoulder to the big beast’s body… and sends him tumbling into the freshly- dug grave adjacent with a SICKENING THUNK.
— Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009), screenplay by Steve Kloves, novel by J.K. Rowling
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is eulogy, suggested by Despina. Today’s suggestion by plinytheelder.
Trivia: J.K. Rowling read through the script for this film, and found a line where Dumbledore mentions a girl he had a crush on when he was younger. After reading it, she informed the filmmakers that Dumbledore is in fact gay, and that his only romantic infatuation was with the wizard Grindelwald, whom he later had to defeat in a wizard duel. She later made this information public while promoting the final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Dialogue On Dialogue: There are many pivotal demises in the Harry Potter series. This one is played for laughs.