Daily Dialogue — December 14, 2011
ELEVATOR DOORS
ROCKETING OPEN. We MOVE IN ON the young elevator operator who leers INTO CAMERA. He wears a brass-buttoned uniform, white gloves and a pillbox hat. The name BUZZ is stitched onto his breast pocket.
As Norville enters the elevators:
BUZZ Hiya, buddy! The name is Buzz, I got the fuzz…
He lifts his pillbox hat to reveal a white crewcut, then lets the elastic chin strap snap the cap back down onto his head.
BUZZ …I make the elevator do what she duzz!
He holds out his hand but as Norville reaches to shake it he snaps it away and pats down his crewcut:
BUZZ …Hang it up to dry.
He cackles and powers the ELEVATOR into GEAR. Norville’s knees buckle under a huge upward surge; Buzz is accustomed to it.
BUZZ …What’s your pleasure, buddy?
NORVILLE (regaining his balance) Forty-fourth floor, and it’s very –
BUZZ Forty-four, the top brass floor say, buddy! What takes fifty years to get up to the top floor and thirty seconds to get down?
NORVILLE I –
BUZZ Waring Hudsucker! Na-ha-ha-ha-ha! Say, buddy!
With a powerful DOWN-SHIFTING SOUND, Buzz brakes the elevator to a sharp halt. Norville continues upward with the inertia, painfully smacking his head against a corner of the elevator.
Buzz opens the door and a couple of people enter.
BUZZ Mr. Kline, up to nine. Mrs. Dell, personnel. Mr. Levin, thirty-seven.
MR. LEVIN Thirty-six.
BUZZ Walk down. Ladies and gentlemen, step to the rear; here comes gargantuan Mr. Grier.
An obese MAN enters, smoking a cigar:
FAT MAN Buzz.
Buzz has already thrown the doors shut and sent the elevator into its power-rise. Norville, bracing himself now, sinks only a little under the G-force.
BUZZ Say, buddy! Who’s the most liquid businessman on the street?
NORVILLE Well, I –
BUZZ Waring Hudsucker! Na-ha-ha-ha-ha! Say, buddy! When is the sidewalk fully dressed? When it’s ‘wearing’ Hudsucker! Na-ha-ha-ha!
He turns to look at Norville.
BUZZ …Ya get it, buddy, it’s a pun, it’s a knee-slapper, it’s a play on Jesus, Joseph and Mary, is that a blue letter?!
All heads in the elevator turn, aghast, to look, and those near Norville shrink away.
BUZZ …Cripes a’mighty, whyn’t ya tell a guy?! Hold on, folks, we’re express to the top floor!
The ELEVATOR SCREAMS into overdrive and we:
CUT TO:
ELEVATOR DOORS
Sweeping open. Norville staggers out.
BUZZ (hissing) Good luck, buddy!
The door sweeps shut. Norville looks nervously around.
Behind him the elevator doors suddenly open again.
BUZZ — You’ll need it!
The elevator doors slam shut and we hear its ENGINES SCREAM as it power-dives away.
— Buzz (Jim True), Norville (Tim Robbins), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), written by Ethan Coen & Joel Coen & Sam Raimi
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week is elevators, suggested by Summertime. The Hudsucker Proxy suggested by pliny the elder.
Trivia: The death of Waring Hudsucker was inspired by a real-life incident. On February 3, 1975, Eli Black, the CEO of the United Fruit Company, smashed an office window with his briefcase and jumped to his death from the 44th floor of the Pan Am Building in New York City.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Befitting this type of period piece, Buzz’s dialogue is rat-a-tat fast and quick with quips.
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