Daily Dialogue — February 22, 2016
PAYNE: Time’s up, pal.
Pvt. Stockdale arises and walks around the desk.
STOCKDALE: Right friendly of you to wait for me. Thank you.
KING: How’d you think you did, Will?
STOCKDALE: Well, them…them printed tests, they give us, they’s exactly like the ones you borrowed, only —
Sergeant King puts a hand over Will Stockdale’s mouth and moves him aside.
KING: (Whispering) Only what?
STOCKDALE: Only you spent so much time drumming the answers into me, maybe we ought to have spent a little bit more time on the questions they joined up with.
Sergeant King moves Stockdale over to a bench.
KING: Now you just sit right down here and…wait!
Stockdale tries to smoke but notices the “No Smoking” sign. Sergeant King returns a moment later.
KING: C’mon, Will, the Corporal’s waiting.
They go into the office of Cpl. John C. Brown.
KING: There he is, Corporal, awfully sorry to keep you waiting.
The Corporal motions for Stockdale to sit.
BROWN: What we do here Private is to evaluate your manual dexterity on a time scale in relation to digital-visual coordination. Two irregular steel links which can be interconnected thusly. I separate them, I join them. It will be your task, Private, when I give the signal, to place the two links in the interconnected relationship I have just demonstrated. (He holds the rings out to Stockdale.)
STOCKDALE: Uh, I put ’em together.
BROWN: That’s right, you put them together. Now, I’ll time you when three minutes is passing.
KING: Now, whatever you do, don’t get nervous.
BROWN: Ready? Go!
Stockdale funbles with the rings.
KING: There you go. Atta boy. Put ’em together.
BROWN: Sergeant, please! Nobody ever does it in less than two minutes. Now, please, you’re not even supposed to be in here.
KING: Now look, Corporal, this is a special case. The Captain says he has to go out with the group he came in with.
BROWN: I don’t care. It’s a very difficult test —
KING: I can see that it’s diffcult —
King and Brown argue, oblivious to Stockdale who bends the rings to get them to fit together, then presents his completed task.
KING: Stop the watch!
Both King and Brown are awed.
BROWN: Look! Look at that!
KING: He put ’em together, didn’t he?
BROWN: (Heading for the door.) Sergeant! Sergeant!
KING: Corporal, what’s all the fuss about? You said put ’em together, he put ’em together!
BROWN: Sergeant, look what he did, for Pete’s sake. Now, how am I going to mark him on that?
SERGEANT: You’re supposed to be grading him on this. Can’t you do a simple thing like that?
BROWN: I’m supposed to mark it down whether they put it back together or not, and there ain’t supposed to be but one way of doing it and he didn’t do it that way, now how you gonna mark him down on a thing like that?
KING: Corporal!
BROWN: And who do you think’s gonna pay for these things? Sixteen dollars they cost! If you think I’m gonna pay sixteen dollars —
KING: CORPORAL!
BROWN: Sixteen lousy dollars!
KING: Corporal, I’ll be glad to pay the sixteen lousy dollars.
BROWN: You will?
KING: If he passed the test.
BROWN: But he did it completely wrong. He was supposed to do it a certain way.
KING: Will, will you please step outside for a minute? Have a smoke.
Stockdale exits the room and King closes the door behind him.
KING: Look, Corporal, let’s look at this thing logically. You need money and I need him to pass the test.
BROWN: But he did do it completely wrong.
No Time for Sergeants (1958), screenplay by John Lee Mahin; play by Ira Levin; based on the novel by Mac Hyman
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Oblivious. Today’s suggestion by Will King.
Trivia: While not strictly speaking the same story, the concept of Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964) was a very close copy of the situation depicted in this film, although No Time for Sergeants (both the movie and the TV show) was set in the Air Force, Gomer Pyle was set in the Marines, and of course, Gomer Pyle was a spin off from The Andy Griffith Show (1960). Interestingly, Pyle premiered in 1964, the same year as the television series of No Time for Sergeants (1964), and while the Sergeants television series was a major flop, canceled before the end of the first season, Pyle was a major hit, running from 1964–1969.
Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Will: “Sergeant King is desperate to get Will Stockdale, a pleasant country boy who’s out of his element in the military, to complete his paperwork and exams (which King had earlier caused him to neglect). Motivated to push Stockdale through or face permanent latrine duty, King gets desperate when he fears Stockdale might fail, while Corporal Brown takes offense at the pressure and interference from King. In the heat of the argument while their attention is diverted, Stockdale uses an unconventional approach to solve the rings problem, and Sergeant King is more than happy to call the test a success.
It’s also interesting to note that this film with Andy Griffith and Don Knotts was released two years before their first television series, The Andy Griffith Show, began on network television. It reverses their later TV roles, with Knotts in the authoritative role.”