Daily Dialogue — June 5, 2016
Mr. Hand: [passing back exams] ‘C’, ‘D’, ‘F’. ‘F’. ‘F’. For three weeks we have been talking about the Platt Amendment. It was passed in nineteen-hundred and six.
Notices Spicoli’s seat is empty.
Mr. Hand: Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone? [Desmond raises hand] Yes, Desmond?
Desmond: I saw him outside, near the food machines.
Mr. Hand: How long ago?
Desmond: Right before class.
Mr. Hand: All right. Bring him in.
Desmond exits.
Mr. Hand: What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It’s a little game you both play. They pretend they don’t see you, and you pretend you don’t ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!
Desmond re-enters; Spicoli follows him. He has a bagel stuffed into crotch; with open shirt, barefoot, holding Vans.
Jeff Spicoli: Wait a minute, there’s no birthday party for me here! Hello, Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand: What’s the reason for your truancy?
Jeff Spicoli: Just couldn’t make it on time.
Mr. Hand: You couldn’t, or you wouldn’t?
Jeff Spicoli: See, there was a full crowd at the food lines.
Mr. Hand: Food will be eaten on YOUR time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?
Jeff Spicoli: [long pause, but then with complete truth in his answer] I don’t know.
Mr. Hand goes to blackboard and writes the words ‘I Don’t Know’, then underlines them.
Mr. Hand: I like that. ‘I Don’t Know.’ That’s nice. [imitating] ‘Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?’ Gee, Mr. Spicoli, I don’t know! You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to leave your words right up here for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli: All right!
— Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1984), screenplay by Cameron Crowe based on his book
The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Teacher.
Trivia: Near the beginning of the movie, right after Mr. Hand sends Spicoli to the front office for being late to class, Mr. Hand passes out the class schedule of quizzes. After the paper is passed out, the students put the page up to their noses and deeply inhale. This was a popular school ritual of the ’60s, ’70s and early ’80s as photocopying machines were very expensive, so spirit duplicators were used. The spirit duplicators used a colored wax as the “ink” and a noxious solvent as a transfer agent to impress the ink on the paper. These solvents sometimes took a long time to dry, hence the students’ use of these solvents as a short-term “high”.
Dialogue On Dialogue: The Spicoli-Mr. Hand sparring is one of the most enjoyable comic student-teacher relationships in movie history.