Daily Dialogue — March 18, 2016

HACKENBUSH: (to the phone) Get me Mister Whitmore.
WHITMORE: Hello?
HACKENBUSH: (In fake female voice) Here’s your Florida call, Mister Whitmore.
WHITMORE: Alright. Hello.
HACKENBUSH: (Different fake female voice) Florida medical board, good morning.
WHITMORE: I’d like to talk to the man in charge of the records, please.
HACKENBUSH: Record department? Just a moment, sugar. (Pause, then new voice). Record department, Colonel Hawkins talking.
WHITMORE: Colonel Hawkins, did you get a wire from me regarding Dr. Hackenbush?
HACKENBUSH: I’m sorry, sir, but there’s a hurricane blowing down here, and you’ll have to talk a little louder. Whoo, it certainly is the windiest day we ever did have. Whoo! It certainly is windy.
WHITMORE: I want to know about Dr. Hackenbush.

Hackenbush switches on the intercom. Whitmore answers from his end.

WHITMORE: Yes?
HACKENBUSH: Whitmore, you’ll have to cut out that squawking. The patients are all complaining. (O.S. in southern accent again) And, uh, I hope, sir, that that’s the information that you required.
WHITMORE: I’m sorry, Colonel, I didn’t hear it. I was called to the Dictagraph.
HACKENBUSH: What was that you said, sir?
WHITMORE: I was called to the Dictagraph!

Hackenbush calls Whitmore on the intercom. Whitmore answers.

HACKENBUSH: Whitmore, one more yelp outta you and I’ll have you bounced out of here. (O.S. on the phone, in southern accent again.) And, uh, I trust, sir, that that answers your question.
WHITMORE: I’m terribly sorry, Colonel, I didn’t hear you.
HACKENBUSH: I can’t hear you. You’ll have to talk a little louder.
WHITMORE: I want to find out something about Hackenbush! (Answers buzzing intercom) Well, what is it now?
HACKENBUSH: Whitmore, that’s the last time I’m going to warn you about that yowling. (O.S. over phone, southern accent) And, uh, in conclusion, let me say…
WHITMORE: I’m sorry, Colonel, what was that you said about Hackenbush?
HACKENBUSH: Hacken — you mean Dr. Hackenbush? Oh, no, he’s not here.
WHITMORE: I know he’s not there. He’s here!
HACKENBUSH: Then what are you bothering me for, Yankee?
WHITMORE: But I want to know something about his Florida record.
HACKENBUSH: (Imitating female voice) Here’s your Florida call, Mister Whitmore.
WHITMORE: Operator, will you get off the line! Hello? Hello, Colonel?
HACKENBUSH: Yes.
WHITMORE: Are you sure you’re speaking of Doctor Hugo Z. Hackenbush?
HACKENBUSH: Who?
WHITMORE: Hugo Z. Hackenbush!
HACKENBUSH: Who’s calling him?
WHITMORE: The Standish Sanitarium.
HACKENBUSH: Yeah, that’s where he works. Say, I understand he’s doing a mighty fine job up there.
WHITMORE: I — I want to get some information regarding his qualifications for the job.
HACKENBUSH: What job?
WHITMORE: As head of the sanitarium.
HACKENBUSH: Who?
WHITMORE: Hackenbush!

Hackenbush calls on the intercom.

HACKENBUSH: Whitmore, you calling me?
WHITMORE: NO, YOU SAP! (Returning to the phone) Hello?
HACKENBUSH: Yes, now, uh, now what was that name?
WHITMORE: Hackenbush. HACKENBUSH!
HACKENBUSH: Uh huh, well, as soon as he comes in I’ll have him get in touch with you.
WHITMORE: Dah! (Hangs up the phone).

— A Day at the Races (1937), screenplay by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton,

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Customer Service, suggested by David Proenza. Today’s suggestion by Will King.

Trivia: MGM executive Irving Thalberg died within two weeks of the start of filming. He was instrumental in bringing The Marx Brothers back to greatness with A Night at the Opera (1935) and was the brothers’ main supporter at MGM. Groucho Marx claimed that he lost interest in films after Thalberg’s death.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Commentary by Will: “Groucho Marx as Hugo Hackenbush keeps his antagonist Whitmore (Leonard Ceeley) off balance by performing a man-in-the-middle attack long before the internet ever existed.

We often hear that each character has a goal going into a scene, and that scene tension arises when those characters’ goals clash. Here, Whitmore is suspicious of Dr. Hackenbush’s qualifications to head the sanitarium, so he tries to check his background. Hackenbush’s goal is to prevent Whitmore from learning that he’s a veterinarian, not a psychiatrist.

Hackenbush faces a problem in that if he simply talks himself up, Whitmore might become even more suspicious. Instead, Hackenbush constantly frustrates Whitmore’s efforts until Whitmore finally becomes so overtaxed that he gives up without ever receiving the answer he sought at the outset of the scene.”